watchful eye
religious tramua
someone in the sky is watching me.
i beg to have faith i beg to believe
divided up portions of me
the rivers running red
separating “me” from “sin”
parts of me unloved,
discarded
i beg to have faith i beg to believe
in me
my name
are the watching eyes really in the sky?
are they my mother, brother, sister
why was i born to be cast out?
isn’t one crucifixtion enough?
I cannot sever the ties between me and myself.
they tell me i must but i also cannot
humility of believing i am always wrong
Holy Father
I do not believe in the wrath
but still i wear six pairs of underwear
i try not to see myself in you but I can see my eyes reflected in yours.
yours angry, bloodshot
mine, blotched and watery red
i beg to have faith i beg to believe
salvation is all i need
i need saving from myself
rather the demon in my brain
lobotomy
exorcism
send me away
my stays in hell can become as long as you want them to be.
they are putting demons in needles these days
but still i am watched over and protected
someone in the sky is watching me
mental
illness
