Twas the night before Christmas, santa was throwing a hissy

Mrs. Claus was laughing at him, and calling him a sissy

He was putting on make up, and dressed like a queen

It was a midlife crisis, like no woman has ever seen

He was powdering up rudolph, mascara for his eyes

A hoof over his face, to hide the aweful disguise

All the other reindeer, they laughed at rudolph`s complexion

They said your flying alone, and pointed in the southern direction

The elfs hid from santa, their toys were half composed

They locked the bathroom door, for fear of being exposed

Jack frost wouldnt visit, frosty went south for the winter

The little drummer boy hide behind a fence, and got a splinter

Scrooge was laughing hard, and asked santa why the fancy

He replied he read a book, about a dragqueen named Nancy

I wanted a new look, for all the good boys and girls to see

Its ok to be different, when your opening gifts by the tree

This world is a changing, and we must accept what is said

Mrs Claus said if you keep it up, you`ll be sleeping in the sled

She closed the door, and left santa standing in the snow

His new outfit was freezing, and he had no place to go

All his friends disowned him, and his family gave him an option

Either come to your senses, or be put up for adoption

Morning came Mrs Clause woke to such a clatter

She went down stairs, to see what was the matter

Jolly as can be, santa stood tall with his sack

Rudolph was normal, and exclaimed that he`s back

I`m sorry dear santa, you definitely was a sight

They said Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night