December
11/6/17, 1:29 P.M.
December is always difficult for me,
It always has been,
Decorating cookies and putting up garlin will never put my heart at ease again,
It will never feel like it did when I was a child,
18 long dragged on years and now December is the month I loathe the most.
Almost four years ago,
I lost my best friend in December,
She was always glowing,
Her heart was never tainted by society,
She was pure.
I miss her more and more every single day,
I wish she was still here,
Maybe she could save me.
Almost 4 December’s ago,
I lost my best friend.
Two December’s ago,
I was in love for the very first time,
I thought he loved me just as I loved him,
But the whole time he was away,
He was in bed with other women,
Telling them the same things he told me,
Two December’s ago,
He told me he didn’t love me anymore.
Here we are,
Once again in December,
And I’m feeling that familiar feeling of loss,
This time I lost a best friend and lover all at once,
Because you were both,
I fell in love so fast,
I opened up my heart and soul to you,
You told me you loved me every day,
While I told you this isn’t okay anymore,
Even though I still want to run back into your arms,
I acted like I did not care,
This December, I lost the person I love the most.
Along with December,
A lot of things will never be the same,
Blue cannot be my favorite color anymore,
The only reason it was is because of your eyes,
Sleeping will never be the same,
I miss being in your arms,
I don’t sleep anymore,
Walking won’t be the same,
You were always right by my side,
Car rides will never be the same,
I don’t have you to sing along with me,
Laughing and smiling won’t be the same,
I will never be the cause of your breathtaking smile or laughter ever again,
Your laughter is my favorite kind of music,
I can’t do any of the things I used to,
Because everything I do reminds me of you...
It has only been a few days and my heart feels set on fire with love for you,
And the pain of you being gone,
I look at the ring you bought me everyday,
As you can see,
December will never be the same for me...
i wrote this about my best friend Kiana Rae O'Neil who was shot by her step father when we were 14 years old. link to article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2529102/Death-Kiana-ONeil-shot-stepfather-destroys-two-military-families.html
i also wrote this about my first love whom was my internet best friend. i met him when i was 15. we were together for a little over a year. i fell in love with him and that was my mistake. he did things only a demon could do to someone. he abused me in every way possible.
the main character i classify as "you" is about my most recent boyfriend Brandon. i met him when i was 15 as well but he was my best friend until i was 16. i loved him and he kept dating toxic girls (they do not deserve to be called women) and finally on April 22nd, i became his. i let the trauma from my first love destroy my most recent relationship and drama with my family happened. we broke up early December. i miss him very much.
