Tip tap tip tap echoed in my sanctuary
Each day comes extra ordinarily
When I swim across the ocean of poetry
Filled with new lights for words actually
 
Many were in deep melancholy
Some were shared sensuously
Caverns of secrets, sometimes lustfully
Kept in the columns of boundary
 
Tip tap tip tap echoed in my sanctuary
Each day comes extra ordinarily
When I swim the ocean of poetry
I’d like to tread water vigorously
In hopes to swim one day gracefully.

(20150412)

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D. Thurmond   aka  JEF (James Everett Falcon)
presque 5 ans

Very well done, you are growing.

Geek Poet
plus de 5 ans

Nice use of the swimming metaphor. I do have one problem with the word ethereally It didn't gel in my head. In poetic terms it means airy, astral, fanciful, nebulous, whimsical. In the adjective it is godlike, holy, heavenly, perfect, intangibly, lightly. Other than that it's a well constructed piece. I imagine the afterlife to be more concrete in a psychic manifestation of our consciousness. I would not want it to be ethereal. But in a solid state within our minds. In permanence rests the cornerstone of faith. Absolute certainty and assurance of God's love, wherein the absence of time constructs a magnificent citadel of our immortal souls

Imrogue
Imrogue
plus de 4 ans

used gracefully instead... better fit?

Charlotte B. Williams
plus de 5 ans

I agree with Mr.Martin, also the drawing of you is very nice.

Imrogue
plus de 5 ans

Thank you so much for a very nice comment! :)

Robert L. Martin
plus de 5 ans

You're poems seem to be getting better each day. You have a lot of talent. Keep up the good work. You have many years ahead of you. Stay focused. Keep writing. "In My Sanctuary" is very well constructed. Good work.

Préféré par...

lowercasemmmmmm J Ann Crowder Cory Garcia Parker Jennings Charlotte B. Williams Maria Do Céu Pires Costa Gary W Armann Riquo Cabrera
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