Freefall
Sat through another non-eventful free fall through the ceiling
while trying hard to feel something despite the way I’m feeling.
Trying hard to find my way back to the time of when
I didn’t have to sit in this damn chair time and again.
For every day now seems a bit more like the day before.
Just like a cross between a treadmill and revolving door,
where weeks and months and years all seem to be as one long day.
And I sit waiting, hoping that the numbness goes away.
That perhaps someday I will finally learn to feel again,
where I can feel connected to a loved one or a friend,
or maybe feel excited at some simple little thing,
or cry, or laugh, or things like that instead of suffering.
For all I do now days is sit, as if the clock stood still,
watching everyone around and wishing I could feel
the things that they all seem to feel so very naturally.
And I sit hoping, wondering... if that ever can be me.
