The only thing she left were her ashes and you still hoping for there to be flames. There is no one to blame. You still hoping it would burn again. You standing in the middle of thick fog alone. Can’t you see she left and she might not come back. Your drowning yourself in hope. You need to see the light again. You need to let her go and Let your friends in. No one said a broken heart was easy but you need to live again. Stop hiding in the dark your not a vampire. This might sound crazy but why dont you burn everything about her into ashes. Now that i think about it. it does sound crazy.  She took your heart and left. Just drive, drive, drive and drive until you find her. Let everything out and ask her to give your heart back to you. Cross that bridge and let it burn. Let the flames go high so she wont cross...............................