Perception
You’ve been acting differently
Once I told you I had names
Well, you knew my legal name
And assumed all of the others
Assumed that I was perfectly straight
Perfectly sane
But I’m not
And I finally told you
You’ve been acting differently
You need to know that I haven’t changed
Just my words
Happy can mean elated
Which conveys more?
You had words you loved
Words you wrapped yourselves in
And I never felt they fit
Your words were constricting
Fell off too quickly, showing what lay inside
So I tried to learn new words
And alone, far from you, I found some
I found out that others felt sad
Others felt isolated
Others hated themselves
I needed help, but I wasn’t alone
I wasn’t broken beyond repair
There are ways to heal more
There was hope for me
Until you started yelling
Until you said I lied
Until you just scoffed when I was torn apart
I’ve had to look for others
Don’t be surprised when I’m not leaning on you
I needed to find other people who would listen
Who would notice my new words
But I’m not totally broken
There are other words I’ve learned
Inevitable is one of the better ones
And learning how things are divided is great, too
Take attraction, for example
I learned I’m not broken or wrong
It’s okay to not notice everyone
To notice people, not their shapes
It’s okay to be the opposite
It’s okay to be something in between
But mostly, it’s okay to be me
I’m not alone in my feelings
And I wanted to share
(Maybe this would help you, too)
But you just said we didn’t need labels
You think that they just divide
All of this is coming from someone with labels
Labels you have been comfortable with
Labels you jokingly celebrate
Labels you secretly gloat about
And now you tell me I can’t have mine
That the more we distinguish
The more that we feel alone
Because I don’t feel alone
I don’t feel unlovable
I don’t feel completely useless
I don’t feel like I shouldn’t exist
I want to have my box
I want to be able to describe myself better
The good and the bad
So don’t invalidate my labels
I have done so enough for myself
Don’t pretend that nothing has happened
While pretending that I am a five headed dragon
And I don’t even have that many separating us
How would you treat someone else
If you knew all of their labels from the start?
Would you search for the differences,
For places you could never connect?
Or would you look for the overlap to grow from?
Look for places to broaden your perceptions of the world?
No, you will not.
You will stay here.
Pretending that nothing has changed.
Pretending that everything has.
