Torn
© By: KNiccole
Torn
Hear I am looking at this glass thats staring back at me, What do I see?
I see a woman that I never wanted to be
This evil bitch with a cold heart is staring back at me.
Someone that I am internally afraid of.
From experiences that I didnt deserve to go through
I can never trust, or give my all again
No, Im not going insane, Im just tired of giving up my happiness for your personal gain.
I gave you love, you gave me hurt, I gave you pedals, you gave me dirt
You didn’t deserve me
So you grabbed the ugliest fish in the bottom of the sea
Threw her right in front of me.
Still you crawl back
Back to my open arms
Why do I continue to open up to you
You are the devil with a handsome light skin face and long hair.
You are a drug that I am addicted too
You are wrong
I heat up the spoon, I fill the syringe with you, stick the needle in.
Recieve a numb feeling and a high within.
As I look at the track marks in my skin.
Each mark is each timeyou broke my heart in two.
But yet I still Love you, My life is torn
You see I have had more fails than success
Disappointment to some, content to the rest but I could care any less, when or where I am put to the test. Just know I am always ready.
Ready for war
Ready to have fingers pointed
Ready to have your judgements casted.
Not only do I reverse it, and make sure your self esteem and dignity is blasted
Ive learned not to care
Not care that Im living each day with more sin
Praying for a better direction
As I keep looking at my reflection
I ask who are you
The bitterness, the hurt, the evilness bottled up in
I just look at her in the mirror and spit!!
Cause the only thing that can calm me is a bottle with 100 proof on it.
I blamed you for birthing this cruel human being within myself
I am waiting for the day when you have reaped what you have sewn.
But I now realize the only decisions I am responsible for is my own
This life can no longer be
So I forgive you, not for you, but for me
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