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Bryn

I cant rely on you for happiness i can’t rely on you for trust, I can’t rely on you for anything - well nothing that matters much.
 
I can rely on your absence, I can rely on your fear, I can rely on your nonchalance and that you will never be here.
 
I cant rely on you for support, I can’t rely on you for love, I can’t rely on you for anything - except that my treatment will be rough
 
I can guarantee your passion, I can guarantee your lust, I can guarantee your missing when you being near is a must
 
I can’t rely on you for a future, I can’t rely on you for my dreams, I cant rely on you for anything– absolutely nothing it seems.
 
I can promise that you want me and and i can promise that your hard, I can promise when your inside me, that you believe that we can go far.
 
I can pledge right now I loved you, I can swear to you I cared, I wanted to give you everything, but how could I if your never there?
 
I saw you in colour, never in pixels of grey and your eyes to me were bluer than any long, sleepy summers day.
 
I wanted you to know me, every single freckle, crease and line. I wanted you to take it, take it as if it was never mine.
 
I’m devastated it’s ended, I’m devastated your gone, I’m devastated because I loved you and I was never the one.
 
I’m angry that I gave you all I had to give, I’m pissed off that I wasted it on someone that never gave a shit
 
I’m sad because I needed you to be the best you could be, I’m sad because even sometimes I need someone to protect me,
 
I hope you know it was real, I hope you know I was true - regardless of the bullshit that said less about me and more about you
 
You must know that you have hurt me, I know you know you did. I hope you learn the lessons in life that will make you an adult - make you big.
 
I don’t know who you are, I don’t think I ever knew, I just know that in my time of need all I fucking needed was you.

(2013)

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