The Day You Went Away
there are many stages of grief.
how you feel is completely valid.
sending love.
‘It happens for a reason’, that’s what they like to say.
Yet they never recall the reason, for why you went away.
Why I never got the chance, to even say goodbye
and why now, when I think of you, does it always make me cry?
They always used to tell me ‘Oh! The good ones, they go first!’
But that is such sadistic reasoning, in fact it almost feels much worse.
‘the good ones, they leave young’ they’d say. I’d believe it to be true,
if I weren’t just so, viscerally angry. That of all, it had to be you.
And I’ve mulled over the variants, The who’s? The what if’s? The whys?
Believe me -
I have thought it out, five thousand f–
times.
But nothing seems to make much sense, since the day you went away
and I still hold on so tightly to the things I didn’t say.
Such as how you made each and every day feel, just so brighter.
How when I was with you my entire soul felt lighter.
The way you walked into a room and, given half the chance
You’d would illuminate the room like music and without fail you’d dance.
That no one ever made me feel quite so safe to be
entirely, unashamedly everything that really makes me, me.
The way you loved and cared for every single soul you’d know.
I’ll never find that elsewhere
no matter where I search,
no matter where I roam,
no matter where I go.
How since you have left us, there are song I just can’t play
because I see us dancing, yet I know you’ve gone away.
How I never let you know, just how much I cared
and the mediocre reasoning is ‘because I was scared.’
And now I never get to tell you, and you never get to know
that what I really wanted to say is 'I don’t want you to go.’
I can 'tell it to the sky’ that’s what they tell me to do
and honestly I would, if I could believe it to be true.
I’d scream, shout it, cry it, tell you just how much you mean.
Show you absolutely everything, I wish you could have seen.
‘Things happen for a reason’
that’s what they always say.
There will never be a reason
for the day you went away.
Lisa– Joanne 17/05/24
