“To follow or not to follow the crowd”

It’s a decision not everyone encounters in their lives, but a very important one for those who do. Even realizing that we have come to that question requires a significant process of self-discovery beforehand. One doesn’t know they are at the moment of deciding without first realizing that how they choose to spend their free time or even their day-to-day is different from what they see around them.

Although it seems like a question only present in adolescence, when being different seems like a kind of crime and self-labeling in a certain way, there is a “crowd” in every detail of life. And in every moment we make that decision, fear can present itself—fear of being misunderstood, of being accused of “wasting moments of life,” among other things. However, being daily with this question in my mind and reflecting on its meaning, another question arises in my head:

“Is it wasting moments belonging to stages, or is it forcing myself to follow the crowd?”

To explain how I answer this question, I will present an example. About two days ago, I started thinking about my mood during a party and, above all, the reason I attended them. The routine was the same in all cases: arrive at the venue, greet a group of outgoing girls from my class who always went to parties, and this was just another one. I’d stay with them because they are friendly and will help me have a good time, and then go in. Once inside, I knew what awaited me was about an hour of techno music, which bores me too much, and then a mix of songs I like and others I don’t know. Every time I was at a party, I thought about my bed, lying down watching a series, or entertaining myself with YouTube and wondered what I enjoyed more.

Once I thought about this, I realized that I preferred watching funny videos on YouTube, going to dinner with friends, or having karaoke at home, rather than going to a party pretending that I only do it to not feel like I’m wasting my teenage years, instead of having fun with my two best friends but mostly with a group of girls who are kind in those three hours together but then don’t talk to me the rest of the days in school.

This reflection answered my question; I wasn’t wasting my teenage years, but living them my way—the way I would spend a Friday night, or a Friday afternoon, or winter vacation.

On the other hand, I’ve noticed that the decision not to follow the crowd has made me more advanced than it. I’m a person who fears the opinions of others, so the decision not to follow the crowd is a daily challenge. I decided that if I like something, I will use it regardless of whether no one else uses it and it’s disliked by others. That led me to start wearing a necklace with a big heart, unlike the necklaces that most people I know wear, opting for discreet options. It was hard for me to show it, but I felt good every time I looked at myself in the mirror with it since I had repressed my liking for that kind of thing for a long time. Gradually, the girls around me started praising it, asking me where I got it from, and nowadays, everyone wants it. I’m not saying I started a trend, but in many occasions, trends depend on a person belonging to the crowd using it for everyone to do the same.

In conclusion, following the crowd is something very easy because if you are naturally part of it, you don’t need to think about pleasing others or connecting with them. But if you decide to be happy and not fit in with it, every day can be a challenge. I am in my adolescence, a stage in which it is easiest to follow the crowd. However, every day I fight against the fear of what they will say, stereotypes about moments in life, among other things. I ask myself how I would like to live, but above all, what would make me happier to remember when I am older and look back and think about how much or how little I enjoyed living life the way it made me happy. Not for my parents, not for people my age, not for my need to fit in, but for me, the sixteen-year-old girl who has fun going to parties but mostly laughs until crying at the jokes of a YouTuber on a Saturday night.