Grinch Christmas
Well, Tis the season
For some reason
To give thanks and gifts to good friends
But the north pole
Pities no poor sole
With a long list and nothing to spend
Santa wont supply
To a girl or a guy
Something special to bring a wide smile
We must do the work
For the boss who’s a jerk
And it better not take a long while
Bah humbug I say
Twas a sorry day
The invention of the portly man Claus
he gave nothing to me
Except a gas tank on e
Why do I hate Christmas, well because
Parties we must go
Drive on ice and snow
Wearing a hideous festive outfit
Have to talk to sots
That don’t know a lot
About topics I couldn’t give a shit
And what’s with the tree
It a mystery to me
Why people waste time to trim and decorate
A shrub from the forest
It’s got to be the poorest
Excuse for the dog’s indoor spot to urinate
Light up the place
Make the meter race
Draining what’s left in your account
Watch the bulbs glow
Relatives begin to show
And the pressure continues to mount
Mistletoe hung in place
Then the scary face
Of aunt Jolene all puckered up and ready
Can’t believe my fate
She does not hesitate
Plants one, with tongue, long and steady
I can see beneath
The front door wreath
Her cat has left me a special present
It came from within
With nary a whim
And had a nasty fancy feast scent
Wrap and place the bow
Each present must be so
Just to see that work torn asunder
It’s gotta be tough
Mean all this stuff
Really has to make one wonder
Oh I know why
Because to try
To make someone else feel some bliss
That’s a noble cause
So try without pause
And give someone a Merry Christmas
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