Something he will never read...
Rich. T
It’s true that life doesn’t prepare you for a broken heart,
But is that what happened to us....to me,
It’s feel like an age since the start,
When our eyes met and I was lost out at sea,
Of your beauty, charm and nature,
Although you overlooked me till it was only us in the world,
You seemed like a blissful, serendipitous cure,
During the season where the leaves curl,
And shades oranges, reds and yellow drifting everywhere,
As the soft crisp winds kisses our cheeks,
A place of history and a job left in your care,
The stay was lovely enough with all the crannies and creaks,
Though your presence consumed me with wander and awe,
And the strong tug of affection began entrapping me,
You were unpolished, so real and raw,
It didn’t take long for me to want you... Your attention,
This wasn’t lust believe me it was something dear and true,
My heart sped and my senses sharpened at your very mention,
I didn’t want to chase you,
So I tried to keep myself distanced,
And then you came to converse with me,
I was giddily nervous but sure as I let down my guard slightly,
It was beautiful to see you talk so freely,
That was when you acknowledged me finally,
Every word spoken, every glance never went unnoticed,
You had indeed stirred something overwhelming inside my soul,
I began to ponder and lose focus,
What if we could travel this journey of life together until we grow old,
Would I ever be enough for you... for your love,
I just wanted to mean something to you anything would suffice,
I knew that the very situation of our union would be rough,
And yet I thought not every experience is simple, easy and nice,
But I would’ve climbed over the mountain separating us,
Because atleast I would have you in the end of it all,
A life built on blind faith and trust,
Where we would catch each other before we fall,
But you didn’t even have an inkling of my desires,
Nor would it have been appropriate to declare them to you,
Though you indeed ignited a smouldering, raging fire,
But you still never asked me to stay,
And when it was time for us to part,
I still deeply wished that with you I could spend my days,
Not one look you left me with as jolt of longing struck my heart,
The fact that I would most likely never see him again broke something inside,
And I believe that I left that broken piece with him,
With no-one I can truly confide,
Feeling torn as the light in my life begins to dim,
With each mile rushing past as I stare at the window,
Going farther and farther,
My soul reaching an all time low,
The searing pain that comes in my heart as you go back to your other,
I’m losing myself as i drown in thoughts of you,
When I do reach the place I called home before we met,
I feel nothing but a dull ache that won’t subside,
I try to block this mess I have become from my loved ones for I fear they may fret,
They can’t see the damage caused deep inside,
I wear the smile that shows everyone all is ok,
When really all I can think of is you my dear,
Dreams of you is where my head stays,
My soul flying to you just to feel you are near,
Oh I do wish that happens because then I feel that I mean something,
That i wasn’t just another job that needed to be completed,
And then I began my poetry writing,
To pour my pain it was a way I needed,
This emptiness that occurred after you left me,
Was a feeling I had never endured before,
Everywhere I looked you were all I could see,
Months passed and I was able to say your name again,
Without crumbling and drifting from reality,
My darling I know that this has to end,
I released the last remnants of the gift from nature you gave me,
And now I still feel regret that I don’t have it to remember you,
But a distant memory for you is all I will ever be,
Dreaming of your sweet memories is now all I can do,
Tearing down the world I built for us in my head,
Learning to live with the fact you can’t be apart of me,
It weighs down in me like lead,
I don’t know if my heart will ever let me free,
For it has trapped me where my love for you flourishes,
Yes I do believe my love... That you broke my heart,
My only wish,
Was for us to journey through life and never shall we part,
But you don’t know this and you never wanted me anyway,
I will have to carry on and let go,
While in another’s arms you lay,
I should’ve let you know..
That the doors to my heart were unlocked,
And you took away the key,
You walked right in without a mere knock,
You brought life, light and made it feel wholly content grasping for more,
And then you abruptly leave,
My love, you forgot to shut the door,
And now with a broken heart I must learn to breathe....
