Do you ever sit and dwell on thoughts

of your old, unrewarding crushes?

They’re always the world at first, but over time

their personalities begin to decay.

And sadly, I still believe

I caught a glimpse of something real

through the seams

of a stitched-up heart,

even though many truths were spoken in jest.

I will continue nail-chewing,

nervously,

'cause I can still taste their salt on me;

Never regretting—yet, denying—the deafening growl

of my chainsaw libido overpowering theirs,

as it cut right through,

leaving our bodies in a lifeless spoon.

This somehow helped me to overcome that kind of rejection

when I was still tangible to the elitists I wished would keep

out of my reach.

But now, I’ve paid my dime

to come to terms with the cool of the discomfort

crashing down around me, like

a black raspberry avalanche.