plotting me

then one spirit says to the other
i will do it this way
the other says no .
and i,..  - well i, ..
i get stuck in the middle
lost between them
only traces of me is seen
and none of me is felt
by another
because the facade
is dominate
hiding behind the fears
or sneers
of ones –that to no avail
will ever be my sail
to save from the torment
of the choices
i made
so say he him
that i should turn my focus
and keeping the love
dealing with emotions
will bring truth
and truth,, love
the captivating fear
captivates my soul
my whole, is broken and misplaced
in someone else desires that
went uncompleted
until fulfilled in me
their sickness
became my weakness
and i hindered
from resolve
fearing the dept
of the emotion
and naming them one by one
calling them out as if to
join the marching band
sending away
with no return address
not sure where it will turn up
as the mind tries to place them in order
hoping for ones to hold my head
above the water
as my feet seem to be stuck
in slow sand –sinking
while the others
throw chains on me
hoping they will have more time
to do, because like me,  i didn’t


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