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The Moment of Truth.

My glassy presence
                           in the night light
is alone . . .
                            talking to me.
                                                       At me.
Fine shaking fingers
                            reach for another cigarette,
no bourbon . . .
                             wanting (say it, go on) NO!
Fine fingers touch my unshaven cheek
                             —and I’m alone . . .
red eyes and bags
                               in the mirror.
Now I lean out
 
the concrete’s five floors below.
 
And there’s tipping point
                                             No guts.
                                                     No pills for this.
I see fine fingers
                                             with silver rings
gleam in the moonlight.
The lady goddess in me cries for shame:
“You’re not alone . . .”
She carefully holds what’s left of me.
I’m not alone . . .
 
A battle goes on between
tonight
and tomorrow.
Savage blood in green fields.
Tomorrow wins
My fine fingers guide
                                   my unshaven cheek,
 
my icy presence,
                                   to my damp pillow

First published in ZineWest 2017

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