Trust ?
What’s the point in trusting you, when nothing in this world is constant?
Why trap my mind and torment myself, when you don’t understand the concept?
You’ve done me wrong but I am still here.
A fault in which I cannot blame you.
You’re blind to the pain you inflict on me,
but I refuse to try and contain you.
Although I know it’s nothing personal,
my heart still aches and breaks.
Looking at the bigger picture,
there’s so much more at stake.
I did not create right and wrong, I did not set the standard.
I am not a perfect creation, I am not the final handler.
I wish you were aware of the damage you’re creating,
not only to me but to yourself.
For when your time of judgement comes,
you will have to answer for all the lies you’ve dealt.
Small and big, there is no difference.
I pray you turn around and ask for forgiveness.
I am not responsible for your actions,
at the end of the day I’m responsible for mine.
I will stand in front of my creator alone,
and I know what I must do until that time.
I’ve let myself find comfort in resting in you,
when that is not the way things should be.
Setting myself up for disappointment,
when there’s no guarantee you’ll always be here for me.
There’s only been one thing in my life, that has been constant and true,
who has wiped away all my tears, and has comforted me when I was hurt by you.
Who has loved me unconditionally, in times when I deserve it and times when I do not.
Who has stood by me day in and day out, who never lets me rot.
My God is in a league of His own, no man or woman compares.
I feel ashamed to have forgotten this, yet he still loves me and cares.
Insecurities fill my body, a place in which they don’t belong.
My mind starts to deteriorate, when I become confused and have it all wrong.
I apologize my Father, for putting my trust in others who are imperfect.
For putting things of this world above you, for not letting my Love for You surface.
I need to get my mind right, before you return once more.
I pray you help me everyday, in the midst of walking through this spiritual war.
(2015)
Just some heavy feelings that are on my heart at the moment.
