ANOTHER METHOD
 
       OF MAKING WALNUT CATSUP
 
 
 
 
 
And this is a very small cookbook for Trout Fishing in America
 
as if Trout Fishing in America were a rich gourmet and
 
Trout Fishing in America had Maria Callas for a girlfriend
 
and they ate together on a marble table with beautiful candles.
 
 
 
Compote of Apples
 
 
 
Take a dozen of golden pippins, pare them
 
nicely and take the core out with a small
 
penknife; put them into some water, and
 
let them be well scalded; then take a little
 
of the water with some sugar, and a few
 
apples which may be sliced into it, and
 
let the whole boil till it comes to a syrup;
 
then pour it over your pippins, and garnish
 
them with dried cherries and lemon-peel
 
cut fine. You must take care that your
 
pippins are not split.
 
 
 
 
 
And Maria Callas sang to Trout Fishing in America as
 
they ate their apples together.
 
 
 
A Standing Crust for Great Pies
 
 
 
Take a peck of flour and six pounds of butter
 
boiled in a gallon of water: skim it off into
 
the flour, and as little of the liquor as you
 
can. Work it up well into a paste, and then
 
pull it into pieces till it is cold. Then make
 
it up into what form you please.
 
 
 
And Trout Fishing in America smiled at Maria Callas as
 
they ate their pie crust together.
 
 
 
A  Spoonful Pudding
 
 
 
Take a spoonful of flour, a spoonful of
 
cream or milk, an egg, a little nutmeg,
 
ginger, and salt. Mix all together, and
 
boil it in a little wooden dish half an hour.
 
If you think proper you may add a few
 
currants .
 
 
 
 And Trout Fishing in America said, “The moon’s coming
 
out.” And Maria Callas said, “Yes, it is.”
 
 
 
 
 
    Another Method of Making Walnut Catsup
 
 
 
    Take green walnuts before the shell is
 
     formed, and grind them in a crab-mill,
 
     or pound them in a marble mortar.
 
     Squeeze out the juice through a coarse
 
     cloth, and put to every gallon of juice
 
     a pound of anchovies, and the same
 
     quantity of bay-salt, four ounces of
 
     Jamaica pepper, two of long and two of
 
     black pepper; of mace, cloves, and
 
     ginger, each an ounce, and a stick of
 
     horseradish. Boil all together till
 
     reduced to half the quantity, and then
 
     put it into a pot. When it is cold, bottle
 
     it close, and in three months it will be
 
     fit for use.
 
 
 
 And Trout Fishing in America and Maria Callas poured
 
walnut catsup on their hamburgers.
 
 
 
 
 
PROLOGUE TO GRIDER CREEK
 
 
 
 
 
Mooresville, Indiana, is the town that John Dillinger came
 
from, and the town has a John Dillinger Museum. You can
 
go in and look around.
 
 Some towns are known as the peach capital of America or
 
the cherry capital or the oyster capital, and there’s always
 
a festival and the photograph of a pretty girl in a bathing suit.
 
 Mooresville, Indiana, is the John Dillinger capital of America.
 
 Recently a man moved there with his wife, and he discovered
 
hundreds of rats in his basement. They were huge, slowmoving
 
child-eyed rats.
 
 When his wife had to visit some of her relatives for a few
 
days, the man went out and bought a .38 revolver and a lot
 
of ammunition. Then he went down to the basement where
 
the rats were, and he started shooting them. It didn’t bother
 
the rats at all. They acted as if it were a movie and started
 
eating their dead companions for popcorn.
 
 The man walked over to a rat that was busy eating a friend
 
and placed the pistol against the rat’s head. The rat did not
 
move and continued eating away. When the hammer clicked
 
back, the rat paused between bites and looked out of the corner
 
of its eye. First at the pistol and then at the man. It was a kind
 
of friendly look as if to say, “When my mother was young she
 
sang like Deanna Durbin. ”
 
 The man pulled the trigger.
 
 He had no sense of humor.
 
 There’s always a single feature, a double feature and an
 
eternal feature playing at the Great Theater in Mooresville,
 
Indiana: the John Dillinger capital of America.

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