Divorce
The emptiness is over taking.
The lonliness keeps my heart breaking.
I don’t feel my heart, don’t feel my soul,
numb and broken down as a whole.
Hopelessness seeping through every crack.
Fear like a monkey on my back.
Being alone and unloved is my greatest fear,
now here I sit, with only my tears.
On myself, I place the blame.
All my failures bring me shame.
Starting to feel I don’t deserve earthly love,
only love for me come from above.
I failed as a friend, failed as a wife,
failed as a mother, failed at life
He said he didn’t love me anymore
and I felt slammed to the floor,
so hard I can’t even lift my head.
Feels like I’ve been left for dead.
My spirit is being tormented,
my mind turning demented.
My numb heart may be cut, bruised and bleeding,
but so far, the motherfucker is still beating.
God wake me from this evil nightmare,
please give me some reason to care.
God, give me your eyes so I can see
the plan you have in store for me,
the lessons you’re trying to teach,
then give me strength to make it to my knees,
because all I can see from down here,
is the puddle I’ve made with my tears.
(9)
written at 24 years old after a crazy divorce. I was totally surprisedbby his decision and feeling very lost and hopeless.
