Robert W. Service

The Telegraph Operator

I will not wash my face;
     I will not brush my hair;
I “pig” around the place—
     There’s nobody to care.
Nothing but rock and tree;
     Nothing but wood and stone;
Oh God, it’s hell to be
     Alone, alone, alone.
 
Snow—peaks and deep—gashed draws
     Corral me in a ring.
I feel as if I was
     The only living thing
On all this blighted earth;
     And so I frowst and shrink,
And crouching by my hearth,
     I hear the thoughts I think.
 
I think of all I miss—
     The boys I used to know;
The girls I used to kiss;
     The coin I used to blow:
The bars I used to haunt;
     The racket and the row;
The beers I didn’t want
     (I wish I had 'em now).
 
Day after day the same,
     Only a little worse;
No one to grouch or blame—
     Oh, for a loving curse!
Oh, in the night I fear,
     Haunted by nameless things,
Just for a voice to cheer,
     Just for a hand that clings!
 
Faintly as from a star
     Voices come o’er the line;
Voices of ghosts afar,
     Not in this world of mine.
Lives in whose loom I grope;
     Words in whose weft I hear
Eager the thrill of hope,
     Awful the chill of fear.
 
I’m thinking out aloud;
     I reckon that is bad;
(The snow is like a shroud)—
     Maybe I’m going mad.
Say! wouldn’t that be tough?
     This awful hush that hugs
And chokes one is enough
     To make a man go “bugs”.
 
There’s not a thing to do;
     I cannot sleep at night;
No wonder I’m so blue;
     Oh, for a friendly fight!
The din and rush of strife;
     A music—hall aglow;
A crowd, a city, life—
     Dear God, I miss it so!
 
Here, you have moped enough!
     Brace up and play the game!
But say, it’s awful tough—
     Day after day the same
(I’ve said that twice, I bet).
     Well, there’s not much to say.
I wish I had a pet,
     Or something I could play.
 
Cheer up! don’t get so glum
     And sick of everything;
The worst is yet to come;
     God help you till the Spring.
God shield you from the Fear;
     Teach you to laugh, not moan.
Ha! ha! it sounds so queer—
     Alone, alone, alone.
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