Pretty Girls Get Judged
I wish I was uglier
My feet are shriveled cracked and dried
It may be peach fuzz but it covers my back
I can grow a unibrow if I really tried
I used to have stretch marks on my tits
Oh, how I miss them
I don’t have nearly enough zits
Damn my baby soft complexion
My fingers do creepy double jointed things
My buck teeth are chipped, uncleaved
Wisdom is what old age brings
And I’m sick of being so fucking naive!
I want my age spots and hunch back
I can’t wait to get wrinkled and saggy
They say I look like a chipmunk
But I feel like an elephant, baby
I need to eat a coney dog
So I can let it rip!
I need to gain some love handles
So you can get a grip!
I want to start walking with a limp
Gotta get some old lady swagger
Get a nice kerchief and a cane so pimp
Guady jewelry and a knit sweater
I’m so over these growing pains
Sick of all the double takes
Hope it all goes away with varicose veins
Hope I grow up for my mothers’ sakes
(2010)
