In the shower is where I do my best sort of thinking. My mind wonders relentlessly while Damien Rice croons about how this is not the best time to cheat on the woman who, just before him, says she knows this is not the best time to be thinking about him. What a beautifully damaging song. I wet my hair with the unbearable hot water. I run my fingers as far as I can, never finding the ends but still covering every strand with minty melon smelling mess. I wonder if her hair smelled better. I doubt it because I use Wen and he inhales deeply when he breathes me in. I wonder how long this bottle will last. It seriously costs twice as much but it is so much larger. Were her breasts larger than mine? I know her ass was…maybe that’s why. Maybe that’s why he preferred to her body to mine.
I throw my head over and run the comb through my hair and I see the marks on my thighs that childbearing created and left there. Those marks, those pesky things, they cover a large bit of what I don’t often bare. I bet she didn’t have stretchmarks on her thighs, her hips, her stomach, her breasts. I bet her skin was smoother. That’s probably why. The shower doesn’t cover these things very well. Stupid water, why are you so see-through? Because cloudy water would be disgusting, silly female. I laugh at the thought... maybe she was funnier than me. Maybe she knew what could make him smile. Jokes about video games or something that I’m just not too keen on.
My new body wash lathers fairly well and even better if I turn the water off when I bathe. It doesn’t smell great but that just means less crap is in it, right? I wonder if she smelled better in general. Maybe her skin was softer and her scent just held more appeal. I wear Givenchy and have for over a decade, maybe he grew tired of it. I bet she wore something less heavy, I’m sure that’s what it was. It was her light floral scent that he couldn’t resist. I’m not sure sprays matter though, there’s some deeper chemical stuff that most people seek. I can’t fix that, I don’t think.
Shaving takes too long. Maybe I should become one of those new-wave women and just stop shaving everything. Yes, it’ll be empowering and I’ll tell my daughters they can grow super long pit hair and we can dye it different colors. I’ll tell them they don’t need to shave to be appealing to men. They are perfect the way they are. Their bodies are made perfectly and no marks or blemishes can diminish that. Their value is beyond what they wear, buy, and own. They’re simply perfect and if anyone doesn’t value that then that person isn’t worth a gazillion thoughts as they lather and cleanse when they’re grown.