Dying to be Alive
At the edge of Hell and the gates of Heaven
I finally found myself, and surrendered then.
All my life, my heart has been frozen
now here I am at the end,
and it is busted wide open.
The instant a lesson was learned,
or when I bled my feelings into words.
When I loved so deeply it hurt,
or felt my spirt broken
and my soul started to burn–
those are the times
when time meant nothing.
Moments I can honestly say
I was really living.
I’ve begged my inner demons
to behave as my guardian angels.
I have felt the deepest of all joy
stem from agonizing sorrows.
Felt my hold on reality slip
my sanity slide through my grip.
Realizing my mind had cracked,
I let those feelings consume me
and after they were complete,
I knew what it meant to be detached.
Some people are afraid to die,
or to feel their mortality rot.
But death is the beginning of life
where you win every battle you fought.
Find the questions to the answers you sought.
When I can do nothing else but let go,
my soul begins to thrive.
In those experiences when I have died?
Those are the times that I am most alive.
(2014)
