Death, are you well? I trust you… That’s painful or in any way annoy… No kidney trouble that may carry y… Or heart disease to keep you from… Your meals-and ours. 'T were very…

Once I ‘dipt into the future far… And saw-it was not Sandow, nor Jo… The Emancipated Woman, who was we… Here and there for the discovery o… But the sun of Evolution ever ros…

I dreamed that I was poor and sic… Broken in hope and weary of my lif… My ventures all miscarrying-naught… For all my labor in the heat and s… And in my heart some certain thoug…

DRAMATIS PERSONAE. _QUICK_: DE YOUNG _a Brother to Mushroo… _DEAD_: SWIFT _an Heirloom_

'O, I’m the Unaverage Man, But you never have heard of me, For my brother, the Average Man,… My fame with rapiditee, And I’m sunk in Oblivion’s sea,

Beneath his coat of dirt great Ne… To hide the avenging rope. He handles all he touches without… Excepting soap.

O nonsense, parson-tell me not the… And jubilate who follow your dicta… The good are the unhappiest lot al… I know they are from careful obser… If freedom from the terrors of dam…

_The Superintendent of an Almshou… SUPERINTENDENT: So _you’re_ unthankful-you’ll not… You sit about the place all day an… I understand you’ll not attend the…

Goldenson hanged! Well, Heaven fo… That I should smile above him: Though truth to tell, I never did Exactly love him. It can’t be wrong, though, to rejo…

When Liberverm resigned the chair Of This or That in college, where For two decades he’d gorged his br… With more than it could well conta… In order to relieve the stress

Once on a time, so ancient poets s… There reigned in Godknowswhere a… So great a monarch ne’er before wa… He was a hero, even to his queen, In whose respect he held so high a…

Tuckerton Tamerlane Morey Mahosh Is a statesman of world-wide fame, With a notable knack at rhetorical… To glorify somebody’s name Somebody chosen by Tuckerton’s ma…

The polecat, sovereign of its nati… Dashes damnation upon bad and good… The health of all the upas trees i… By exhalations deadlier than their… Poisons the rattlesnake and warts…

Charles Shortridge once to St. P… ‘Down!’ cried the saint with his f… ‘Tis writ that every hardy liar Shall dwell forever and ever in fi… 'That’s what I said the night tha…

What! ‘Out of danger?’ Can the sl… Or canting Pharisee no more defam… Will Treachery caress my hand no… Nor Hatred lie alurk about my doo… Ingratitude, with benefits dismiss…