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Self Found

I’ve been thinking about myself lately
You say it’s selfish and I should hold your hand forever
But I need to free myself from these things that tie me down
I’m being buried in the ground with every threat you yell at me
I’m being cursed by every careless word you use at me
I’m being burned by all the bruises on my arms from when you try to get me to stay
 
But I’ve been thinking about myself lately
And I’ve decided that I want out
Yes I will always consider you to be the love of my life
The one I let go, the one where we just couldn’t get it to work
And yes I’m still in love with you, the thought of you
Your smile and your eyes.
 
But I’ve been thinking about myself lately
and I’m tired of living these lies
You don’t treat me the way that I should be treated
You don’t respect me or my brilliant opinions
You know nothing about my family or
the life that I’ve had prior to you
So here is a toast to you,
fuck you.
 
But lately I’ve been thinking about myself
and it’s not in either of our best interests to cuss you down
and it’s clearly written somewhere that the end of our relationship
was meant to be kept unwritten
But know that I miss you everyday
Especially in the night where I’m clutching the space where you used to once sleep
 
But lately I’ve been thinking of putting myself first
So today I started yoga, which you always thought was stupid
and today I started writing again, which you never understood about me
and today I sang to the radio, because I love the way it makes me feel
and I danced while I organized the cluttered rooms I live in
because I deserve to be happy, I deserve all of this.

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