Bonds and a Break in Confidence
To the wounded heart
One word, two meanings
One love, two people
Intent and deception
Death... and resurrection
A string strengthened harder than steel
A web with no real feel,
pathos, logos, and ethos unbalanced
Emotion overtakes reason and status lost to all sense.
Tired of the world and it’s lies
Tired of the unknowns and how they fly
How a web can be shared,
between two that have been snared.
Feelings unknown but awake,
Devour those souls for devouring’s sake.
No hurt can be masked
How fucking long is this going to last?
I’m done with bonds, the drama, the heat
Done with people, the hate, the deceit.
Except now I don’t know who is lying,
The hurt, the healed, or the dying.
More than ever i reach out,
For the one that can defeat doubt,
Of insecurity and shame,
but I search and search,
And carry no name.
Why do humans need more?!
Why do I yearn and implore?
Why can’t I break these chains myself?
Why do I need more than the self?
Why am I so freaking weak,
To troubles of the heart, the pain I can’t beat?
I’m involved with craziness of the mind
A poison the heart often finds,
I can’t move, can’t speak, can’t breath.
What’s left for me to do, leave?
Perhaps it’s an issue of confidence and trust,
Why can’t I be sure that man can beat lust?
I don’t want to hurt and be pained,
Have my mind blemished with stains,
Of the past, the present, the future.
I feel like I might’ve been suckered and lured
Just to be toyed with, forsaken, and left with the baggage,
I’m sick and tired of fear as my package.
Fear comes because I know the world is deceiving,
But what to with a bond unbelieving?
It’s one I can’t bring myself to cut,
One I don’t ever want to give up.
I guess I should stay and abide.
Hopefully this bond won’t choose to die.
(2013)
The heart is a vulnerable thing. Should it be tested, insecurities wanes its power. Vulnerability is strength on its own.
