#FatherDadFamilyTraumaHereditaryMentalIllnessGenerationalMentalIllness
i’ve got, “i miss you” carved over and over again on my sternum. skin raised and red, but it’ll dull down to a scar. just like the ones on your forearms that i saw when it was just you ...
i waited for the other shoe to dro… oh, it did. “i’m sorry,” i said, “for trying t… you smile and say, “i’m used to it… “you shouldn’t be.”
you ask me if i have dreams and i start telling you about the… that haunt me when i try to sleep but then you look at me and laugh uncomfortably and say,
i’m dissecting you with a scalpel… i’m slapping you on the rack, reac… pulling out your intestines and di… doesn’t feel so good, does it?
“i hope they don’t turn out like y… and yeah, i think, that’s about ri… i hope they don’t either.
i love breaking your heart. call me a sadist, i don’t particul… i’ll reel you back in like a trout…
i’m sitting in an old 2000s chevy with r&b music playing loud from t… my shoulders slipping out from und… and i’m either a sex symbol or something holy.
i feel your words in my bones, and… you’ve got me shaking, you’ve got… you ever think about the fact that… i do, every goddamn day. you came into the world with a ven…
i love you, so hurt me. ‘cause that’s how love works, right? make me cry,
did you know if sharks stop swimmi… my mother found joy in domesticity… with three kids and a husband, bak… and good for her, good for fucking… my safe place is flats filled with…
it’s embarrassing but, god i love, love, love you i’ll swear on everything i own, and everything i’ve ever wanted that i love you in ways i didn’t t…
i left you, but you never had the… you walked right out that door wit… you slipped into the cracks of me. you know how mad it drives me? i feel you move around, inside and…
do you love me, genuinely? don’t scoff and say, “yes, of cour… think about it for a minute. do you love me? when i’m crying like we’ve got roo…
i want to cry and count all your f… decorate your face with stickers a… then maybe you could hold me and w… do you think?
i flick the lighter on, on, on off. a useless fidget, one that turns my thumb gray and r…