#RelivingChildhoodParentification
i laughed out loud. the world didn’t implode.
he kissed along my scars and asked… i tangled my fingers in his hair a…
“be thankful to god for bringing y… god had no part in what i became o… he was a callous bystander, a watc… he watched me cry and then drowned… god watched me start wars and lose…
everything is muffled and clean wh… i have bathed in dust and soil, an… i lay on your cool kitchen tile an… a constant reminder that i’m here,… but now with me here there is mud…
there’s something about flowers an… you ask someone why they pick flow… “because they’re pretty.” you ask someone why they pull weed… “because they’re ugly.”
i’m trying to give you cardiac arr… i’m trying to drink your blood lik… i hate your guts; can i fuck them… don’t be gentle, i want to scream at the top of my…
i am beginning to blur at the edge… i’ve been becoming something of lo… i think i’ve wanted this storm lon… that it will wash me away with it.
i gave you open front doors, swing… i left you out in my backyard with… it’s not my fault you stayed like… i screamed your name over a coal e… standing in the middle of the trai…
but i don’t think you were ever built to be a mother, and i never learned how to love you without it burning me from the inside out. i was raised to trust you through every betrayal and...
i’m sitting in an old 2000s chevy with r&b music playing loud from t… my shoulders slipping out from und… and i’m either a sex symbol or something holy.
i left you, but you never had the… you walked right out that door wit… you slipped into the cracks of me. you know how mad it drives me? i feel you move around, inside and…
my bones scream to escape this ski… to tear through my flesh and force… then to let them dangle by their p… my teeth are too big to share this… and my tongue is too large to fit…
i have my mothers hands and her sh… i’ve got my dad’s jaw and his impa… i’m ten times as angry as my mothe… and twice as sad as my father is. here’s the thing, part one:
i waited for the other shoe to dro… oh, it did. “i’m sorry,” i said, “for trying t… you smile and say, “i’m used to it… “you shouldn’t be.”
like a knife to flesh. phantom pain. a faint scar, but it’s jagged. wishing you’d come back and try ag… so i could step right into the kni…