i know not what it is but i know what it is not
i am scared of you now,
of this stranger who has taken your skin.
those familiar eyes now watch me, catlike, from the bed, in a way that makes my skin prick.
your loose hold now tight and the gentleness of you is vicious now.
this beast of grief has eaten you hollow.
the anger has wracked you like a torrent of water.
it has eroded you into a man i no longer recognize.
and this hatred of a familiar face contorted into unfamiliar expressions has made me a liar too.
it has made me into a promise-breaker.
for i swore i would love you and hold you dear forever but now.
i no longer think i can.
i will never leave you, that part is true.
but i can no longer say i love you.
because you are dead and a stranger in my bed is wearing your skin.
your bile has eroded your insides to nothing and something took your skin.
i wrote this after reading the beekeeper of aleppo so go read it just make sure to get really drunk afterwards to not feel the pain
