trying not to cry in the holiday i… my mama said something mean again

“be thankful to god for bringing y… god had no part in what i became o… he was a callous bystander, a watc… he watched me cry and then drowned… god watched me start wars and lose…

there is a body sprawled out on a… obscenely and nudely. with a blissed out face and beaded… smears of red on the face and stom… it lies there with a lighter in a…

sometimes i wonder what god is. she’s the gentle hand and the draw… those flash floods and the never e… she lays the bricks and then turns… they tell me,

it’s embarrassing but, god i love, love, love you i’ll swear on everything i own, and everything i’ve ever wanted that i love you in ways i didn’t t…

i’m spilling red wine on your whit… it’s on purpose, just so i can poi… look! we match ‘cause my white shit is already st…

part 1: horror i loved her, but oh my god, it was so, so bad. we were the campfire stories in th… that was us, and that’s what we st…

i think i do my best to be good wh… it’s not shaped for my kind of rag… it has no place for sickness, and… i drown in it, i suffocate in it. paradise is not a hospice, but i a…

is it too late to admit i loved yo… even through it all? summers over, but i still feel it on my skin.

he’s full of tuesdays and peonies, and i’m made up of saturdays and b… so he says, forgive and forget, and i say, get high and throw dart… he’s got his arms open wide

when i told you i was crazy, i was… that there was your warning, but y… you don’t have enough heartbreak i… i’ll fix that for you, free of cha… “a penchant for manipulation,”

i am beginning to blur at the edge… i’ve been becoming something of lo… i think i’ve wanted this storm lon… that it will wash me away with it.

i gave you open front doors, swing… i left you out in my backyard with… it’s not my fault you stayed like… i screamed your name over a coal e… standing in the middle of the trai…

it’s ugly how time moves. how places that you used to fit in… the kitchen cabinets, the space between your closet shel… don’t fit you anymore.

i am scared of you now, of this stranger who has taken you… those familiar eyes now watch me,… your loose hold now tight and the… this beast of grief has eaten you…