i am scared of you now, of this stranger who has taken you… those familiar eyes now watch me,… your loose hold now tight and the… this beast of grief has eaten you…

i’m not entirely sure i’m alive, s… saying that makes me seem crazy or… maybe i am, maybe it matters, but i don’t really think it does. you have your hands on my thigh.

there’s something about flowers an… you ask someone why they pick flow… “because they’re pretty.” you ask someone why they pull weed… “because they’re ugly.”

but i don’t think you were ever built to be a mother, and i never learned how to love you without it burning me from the inside out. i was raised to trust you through every betrayal and...

i love you and isn’t that it? isn’t that a slur? to say i love you, when your father spilled that

i’m sitting in an old 2000s chevy with r&b music playing loud from t… my shoulders slipping out from und… and i’m either a sex symbol or something holy.

i go from adoring to loathing at t… hi baby! oh, you forgot to do the… didn’t know you were a backstabbin… mistakes aren’t mistakes, that everyone makes.

like a knife to flesh. phantom pain. a faint scar, but it’s jagged. wishing you’d come back and try ag… so i could step right into the kni…

i’m kind of nervous you don’t love… and isn’t that hilarious? when i was so damn scared in the b… that you would love me at all.

i love saying no, and watching men who are not accustomed to hearing… grow mad and confused. betrayed by the idea of me ruining… and not the other way around.

i’m whispering “baby,” up to the n… relishing in the roll of the word… the hum of influence, consequence,… like a storm, like a burn, like an…

blurred around the edges took a couple naps today. almost started a fight, then i didn’t and held someone ins… i feel lucid and fluid.

i miss being a kid when the saddes…

you ask me if i have dreams and i start telling you about the… that haunt me when i try to sleep but then you look at me and laugh uncomfortably and say,

always a victor, always a fucker. always a loser, always a fucked. so it goes. so it burns.