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Carlos Ortiz

Warrior's Lament

The tip of my sword is stained with blood
 
 
My blade, dull from battle
 
 
My body is bruised
 
 
My legs are tired
 
 
I can’t tell the difference between fear and courage
 
 
I’m numb
 
 
I’m not a warrior
 
 
I’m not man
 
 
I’m an animal
 
 
I thirst for war
 
 
I no longer weep near death
 
 
It’s part of the routine
 
 
Just casualties
 
 
God, what I have become?
 
 
I wish to lay down my sword
 
 
I want to feel
 
 
I’m not a man
 
 
I hunt
 
 
I have prey
 
 
I’m an animal
 
 
My hands are no longer shaking. I’ve set fear aside to highten my senses.
 
 
I need to feel
 
 
I can’t feel
 
 
I’m no longer a man
 
 
I submit to what I’ve become and what I am
 
 
A warrior
 
 
Who fights to be a man

(2012)

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With each brick and beam, I start… I motivate myself and start moving… With torn hands, blood sweat and t… With each step I secure each bolt… With all that I have built, I can…
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Handout

My hands open like a pan handler A common street walker. Waiting for a handout My hands out man! The sole of my shoe is worn
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In the Thick of It

Between the beginning and end I lay in the thin of things Between whispers and rumors I lay in the thin of things Between honesty and fallacy
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The Train to Long Island

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The sun is still burning for a couple of hours darkness is coming the light is holding on stars are fading
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The Outlaw: I can hear the gallop of the pale… Death swiftly approaches. Memories of my momma come about. At dawns light she’d be stirin’ up…
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I stumble to put together a clear… I don’t know if I’ve built a defe… I don’t know? It’s been a year and I can’t shak… I never really understood the term…
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