I watch the ember of this cigarette
The ones that I had just quit
Until I met you
The tears I’ve cried can’t seem to put it out
They just hit the ground
And I can’t hear a sound
Except your voice in my head
Telling me you didn’t think a thing for me
I keep watching the sky
Something Inside screaming that you and I
Aren’t done... and never will be
But I guess it’s just my imagination
Like you always said it would be
I know it seems like it can’t be
it seems my love goes two ways
too love two and and always will?
And that to you was a crime that would kill
The strongest heart
Well you didn’t know mine
You didn’t know mine
And all these signs
Keep talking to me
Telling me just to give it time
But I’ll surely drown in this sea
Before time gives you back to me...
Please set me free
Do you even know you hold the key?
To these chains around my entirety
My being tied to you
I’m tied from the soul you and tied at the heart to you...
Aren’t they the same thing?
I’ve heard that it’s true...
I’m sorry I lost control
I tried to drive straight
And I just ended up running aground
From a ship called fate
You thought my love meant disrespect.
No it just meant I had to much
Id never met anyone afraid of love
And how can I blame you
I’m a broken soul
That can’t control their intentions
I don’t and would not resort to inventions
But we both know I wouldn’t deny you
Isn’t it true
My God isn’t it true
That I’ll always love you
And you’ll always be running the other way
And I’ll always have nothing I can say
To keep you next to me
Why couldn’t you see
What this was from the start
Or did you and you just didn’t have the heart
To meet me underground
Yea I dont hear a sound
But telling me I can’t stay around
if I had you Id never think of another for as long as I lived
and you had nothing to give.
but I am most surely lost...
And what a cost
Im so lost
without a solution to this existential frost
that lays over me tonight
Oh feel me tonight
Set me alight
Set me afire like you used to do.
God it must be true.
That I met you just so I could write
And make those alike
Just give me sleep
Please give me sleep tonight
and I’ll thank the gods for the peace
And wake tomorrow and again let the demons feast....
My life loves pain
Even the pain you cause me
Keeps me sane
I love it like I love your game
I feel bites on my skin sitting under the moon
I pick up the wet ground and rub it onto my legs
So I can’t feel the sting..
Tell me can’t you hear my soul sing..
Was it just empty?
I can’t help but laugh at the thought that brings
Let me go
Let me go
Boil me In the change I thought was coming
And yet ...it did not..
Just left the with the thought
That I was worthless .
But it’s not my fault.
I’ll fend off this assualt
I love you
God help me
I keep getting bit by these parasites
I wash myself in this water
And I don’t even think it’s worth the fight
The mud that covers me
Does not protect me
I’m just a devil’s daughter
Wishing they could find another rhyme for water.
But I just don’t bother
Because they need you here beside me
Take me farther
Your just to clean
Your just to mean.
The world is just to pristine for you my dear
And Im dirty with the mud of another fear
One you don’t or won’t
Am I such a sin?
Take me within...
I’m caught in your undertow
tell me I’m not going against the flow
Tell me I’m just another part of you that cannot grow
Higher and higher
Purer and purer.
I promise what I feel isn’t dirty...
It’s suffering, it’s pure and it’s my only cure
I never had it in my heart to hurt anyone
I was content to write of what I felt
and die if need be
you were everything to me
and I wish I was lying
instead I sit here crying because
I can never love another.
and that terrifies me.
that terrifies me.
what will I do without you.
I never needed confirmation
I just needed to have you near.
because it gave me peace
with you I did not feel fear
the fear life had cursed me with
please... release me from your spell
this time without you has taught me naught but pain
and yet theres nothing gained.
except to know what I felt for you was pure
a cure to all my ugliness in my soul
ill never love another.
show me the one who is the cure
you run through me
course through veins that were once damaged
and you make me feel alive again
and here I go again to tell you
there is no cure
none as pure
and now I know for sure
ill never love another
as long as I live
no one is more surprised as I am.
If I could change this I most surely would.
all thats left is I feel empty without you
theres really nothing left to say
Ive gone from black to white and then to gray
and it is here Ill forever stay
is it not such a shame
that you will never know
for It was a crime to tell you so
the crime makes my love no less strong
and ill live with this
Ive loved you all along
why in my mind are we meant for each other.
do you not think I fear this as well?
All I can ask fate is why it did this to me
and left me to find my own way out of this spell.
left me to become a shell
of my former self
til now Id never known this brand of hell.