Afterlife.
One day I swear I'll learn to write short stuff.
Now, look at me in the mirror
I cannot be any clearer
That I’ll hold that reflection dearer
Beyond what you see
I’ll be the one that hears you
when you say nothing
To react when you say something
I cannot run and I would not flee.
I told you that was true
But what does it truly mean at all to you?
Or do you even know?
when you finally turn around
Shoulder touched by a touch you knew
The day has grown too long
And you’ll find I’m already through.
But a ghost in your hallway
The nightmare at your door.
The fantasy where you sleep.
Dreaming away the impure
No incline is to steep
I do not have to question such a cure
With all the secrets we can keep
Skin upon a deceptive door
Such skin that loudly weeps
Yet you won’t see me
when your finally sure.
You’ll only wake to find
I’m not there
I won’t be there anymore
So put it on repeat
Drop the needle, Let it play
That note that hits you deep?
The one that speaks but you cannot say?
Let it turn around and round
Until theres nothing more to relay
Or maybe we do.
Oh but I do.
It’s just I’m on my way down.
Or am I running from what I need
It was never just something new.
I just will no longer lead
Nor bleed.
For something so unsure.
Even though every noise, look, and word.
Is so undeniably pure.
“Give me time?”
Well give me the reason.
I’ve tried to be blind
This close to shutting it down
My experience shows me the signs.
I respect what is needed.
But I’m no fool bound
I can tie you off for my own survival.
Test me and I’ll show the all the tables
I’ve dined
Poison in the wine.
And walked away alive.
Don’t pretend this is like any other.
This will survive.
But your fear makes me wanna
Escape the confines
and I’ll be the first to put down the knives.
Not from lack of wanting
Not from lack of needing
Not from the lack of feeling
But because it’s all laughs or grieving
The extremes can be deceiving
Yet your in my very blood
It’s just no good.
A soul shared between flesh
But you see we have our feet in mud
Still it’s a relief within the broken trust
Touching without feeling understood
Entwined understanding too much
Creating a flood
To drown in everything we have done.
Despising what we should
Lamenting what we could.
The up and down
Til we drown.
Til we drown.
Wake up to from the underground
To what you know is securely bound
Or maybe you will not
And youll regret it next time around
But only you can tie the knot
For I will not make another shroud.
Knitted to cover the dead.
Wait for things to fall into place?
To call it like it is?
No, I never ever believe in haste
But wait a year too many
long finished or a period of grace.
I cannot just bury
I with a nail would trace
Your neck with flowered hand
All too soon they would bleed you again
So let me breath into your lungs now
Let me show you how.
The relevance of a real friend
For the life you still have in your silent veins
Only loyal passer-bys that didn’t heal you.
And loves that gave you pain.
There’s much more here to gain.
And if it is in you to truly deign
Then no, never was it feigned
Even if I tried
Even if we tried.
You’ve always been my aim.
Sure, once it was easy for me to lie
But here there is no game
Once I was truly sly
I’ve lost this
Now I cannot.
No, now I am surely not
Not one deceptive word
Came from my lips
Even when in the solid grip
Of the magnetic pull of sinking ships.
Not even an embellishment between the sips.
Fate whispered and demanded
You can not be reprimanded
For not knowing which way to go.
follow slow, follow slow.
But by the end will I still be trusting?
No
I hate that I fear it so.
But when the habits start to grow
I will not have anything left to show
Been here before
Throw it far away now
And I’m not sure I can return.
Trying to make me believe
it’s not worth the fight.
Shame that such a slight
Is drunken with the art of love
And what I hear is from above
The gates of hell are simply a dove
Opening its mouth
And gasping out.
I can hear you all the way from here
We weren’t meant to see light
What a sight. the distance seers
My chest heated tight.
Your sighs become my only fears
And when you think I cannot hear
Its only you that stands in your way
I can see you clear, feel you dear.
I only stand in the door to tell you
you’ll have to pay
Pay for death
Each labored breath
That shakes you to your core
I will not be around much longer
I cannot stand and wait for more
When I’ve already broken bones for you
I know patience
but I also know a cycle unbroken.
And blame is not the insult
All else I have withdrew
No, it’s the writing in the wall.
Yet I’m still here when you call.
If I can truly walk away at all.
I’ll be the ghost in your hallway
that you pass right through
I ask for more.
You ask for more
And then we blame the other
But I’ve got nothing more to give
Or maybe I do.
Won’t I always?
Transparent over and under
I asked you to materialize
Summon me to your arms
But I cannot heal a hurt
no interest in helping you make sure
Counting tallies of the mistakes
When your Forgetting
it’s the gifts that are at stake.
Your mind is like a funeral
My heart is like the grave
Our desire, is freedom, then a slave
How many times you gonna fear the afterlife
We died long ago and here we are again alive
Im here to make sure you save
Save it before ruin.
Yet I cannot make you or I behave.
I cannot save anyone
But I’ll remind you when it’s done
Stand in the afterlife with me
Before the real world burns
For the earth just stopped its turns
When our souls recognized
You’ll find you could be free under sun
The shadow in ours souls unlearned
Put down the gun
Leave it uncocked
Try your best if you think it can be undone
Stop watching the clock
You got no where else to run
I’ll tell you when It’s over
I’ll tell you when it’s done
That’s the secret
to live like your dead
Its the afterlife you’ve always wanted
The only one you ever believed in
golden, away from where resentments bred
You’ve made your bed
Now tear it up.
Nothing that you’ve said
Will shock me from our place in hell
I’m your match, alive, soul to sell
We are shells full of fight
Voids that ate their own light
Tell me it all like I tell
Even though I know what’s in your head
I don’t have to think too far
To know how we are
Any question you have
Simply answer your own
And you’ll have your answer
That we share.
If you feel fear so do I
If you feel alive so do I
If you breath so do I
If you smile so do I
If you cry that I do.
We are already dead
Its the afterlife eternal
The one we don’t have to feel dead
A devil to possess you
Wings to protect you
A spirit to haunt you
A friend to honestly love you
Simply as they could
But you have to let an entity in
Take the salt from your doorway
Its not important anymore
You got nothing to fear
I would not ever
But it’s a merry go round love
But no It won’t ever be enough.
Fake it till there’s none?
No.
The writings on the wall
I told you what to be true
And I’ll tell you when I’m through
But it would sound like a lie
But I can live a lie
We both know that
But not anymore
Call it a tie
Call it a joke and give it a laugh
But I’m not laughing anymore
The afterlife proving to much to ignore
I’m letting go to start again
Can I ignore your mistake
Can you forget mine?
Its time now because it isn’t time
I watch the moon when it shines
Only to see its the reflection
of something greater across the sky
Its a mirror
Let me have my reflection
Give me the time
you have to fall in line
Or I’m leaving it behind
No energy wasted on the sidelines.
We are already dead
Its as I said
The afterlife is ours
Breathing
Seething
Believing
Is all there is to achieving.
And our lives are eternally bound
If you do not believe that
Then Ill be nowhere to be found
You lit the flame
We stopped the games
It still has not a name
One we cannot yet admit
Or maybe we have
Sure we have.
We are not the same.
Because we are the same
Now is the time to be brave
Receiving what you gave
Let it grow or cut it down alive
Patience is an active choice
A life that’s yet to live
Find again your failing voice
Its there and drawing near.
We were here
We won’t forget that
But it means nothing when walking away
Its all about how we veer
Away from the obstacles
Attach it to something that can stay
Oh I shy at the impossibles
Because I stand in the dark
And always take a challenge
But I can bring light and I bring clarity
Mystery is the game of the young.
A song unsung
Is but a tragedy.
And I see a path cleared
You still see the trees
Then stop looking
Set yourself free
And let your soul take over
We are already dead
Let our deepest selves take over
An afterlife for the living.
Got heaven in our eyes
Eternal fire in our touch
But I’ll not be a fallback crutch
Afterlife stands alive in our writhing
A vine that never stops its twining.
Locking us together.
Its done now, understood
A commitment signed in blood
drowned as driftwood
Meaning not at all, I never misjudged
It cannot drown, never would.
I know it’s no good.
Watch from afar waiting for amends
From those who don’t see you
Who you, only with scorn they defend
Help you but with leniency askew
Perhaps you don’t deserve much
But that’s for me to figure out the sin.
As I have my own
And I believe they are the same
So forget the disdain.
Forget those that move figuratively
Who don’t hear you and would rescind
Revoke, what was made to mend
Who laugh then condescend
I can but one promise
Into the darkness, I descend
Alone, so you can depend.
When I lay down a line
I follow it until the end
Ascend into the afterlife.
With me, my bitter end
If put as simply as simply put
nothing is missing inside me at all
when you are near, when before felt empty
And I knew it not at all
When I can feel you beside me
When before I was at a deadened crawl
What a fulfilling overhaul
That’s all the truth and I’ll take that to the wall.
A firing line gladly risked
For the proof was in a kiss.
Afterlife for the dead living.
Believe me or not
Asking me to believe what even you cannot
Then saying I don’t believe.
No, it is not me who is leaving
Not me who is deceiving.
I’m standing here breathing
Alive and long dead in an afterlife
And here it’s all light and finality
I’ve made it for me.
And it’s all for you
But you can’t break free
This manifestation broken at will
Well that isn’t me
That isn’t me
I create with a will
And I break free
To begin again
Just wait til you can see
I can give only 3.
Until I get tired of trying
to make anyone see.
What I know is valid through and through
This afterlife to wound then soothe
Maybe It is a laugh?
But there isn’t any leaving
Not once it’s become the only truth.
recovering what I still believe
This afterlife, while it can wound
Still forevermore will soothe.
I have recollections
From a time that didn’t exist
I have strong protections
you do not assist
Get it together
Or I’ve got nothing left to give.
Patience?
Make me believe it’s worth it, all this
Oh yes I feel it in the kiss
But not in anything else that makes sense
Perhaps I need to to know what’s real
Not just in what we feel
Guarded words can only go so far
And what is not said can certainly kill
Enter this afterlife, this hell or eden.
Follow this dim and glowing beacon
Trust it or not, heat and stamp the seal
Unbroken trust can harden again
Enter this afterlife, hell or eden.
before a flaming sword makes our choice
Before the warning of a disembodied voice.
That we would ignore anyway.
We are not too far gone to heal.
Learn now that we never had to kneel.
Not you and I.
Your always something I will feel
But just as well
Something I’ll always need.
There need not be any farewell
If you sign what is agreed.
It just needs now more than ever to be freed.
Concede
Bleed
Proceed
I’ll never mislead
I’ll relinquish my lead
Let me show you
So you can see
Take the hand offered
Your heart and soul relieved
Skin and spirit interweaved
Remove the salt from the door
As this must wholly be received.
Forget this self preservation
This isn’t fallacy or imitation
Of that you can be certain
We made our own limitations
Sometimes a chance need be taken
Nothing is ever all acts of sensations
Forget this need for survival
Not all prospects are suicidal
And if not dead on arrival
Twists in fate can be a sudden, even deadly, revival.
And the possibility itself can give you life.
—C.R.STANGER
©2-10/3-1-23
Same symbols and words as usual as it connects to another poem.. the words repeated from other poems connect them..wrote kinda fast so it's not really done. I have lyrical poetry and poetic poetry ..this is the lyrical..I actually wrote this a month or so ago and some recently..i just decided to put it up. Because I have so many in works I can't finish.
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