Everything.
straight emotion. lyrical. the painting though....I LOVE Munch....again I'm rapping In a way..lol...just saying what I say...and the verse symbolically is meant to lose structure and become erratic...also...long.
when it’s everything.
it’s the cliche in this verse
the blue in what I sing
it’s everything
it’s waiting in the wings
I repeat to myself
I’m here for good it seems.
what steam I had left
was forever.
it’s the smell in the spring
the damp when it rains
the sane in the insanity
everything
tearing pieces apart
a hardened heart
trying to control
an uncontrollable heart
find your bearings
it was everything
the control in the chaos
the chaos in the control.
its the hand that we fold
only to find out it would’ve won it all.
it’s the all in the call
that was left on hold.
it’s the shrill in the ring
The weapon in the sling.
changed everything
even trying to take it slow
it’s the certainty in the scream.
a shake In the glow
it’s everything
the wind in sailing
the water that carried us forward.
never backward
did you not know?
the love you get is the love you bring
it’s the pain in the sting
everything
it’s the laugh at the deed
that you thought couldn’t be seen.
I know what you need.
manipulative truth.
don’t know anyone like you thought you knew
it was the bite in the sooth.
the nightmare In the dream
tell the truth and don’t tell me.
I already know.
tell the naysayer in your brain.
pour the lemon in that sting
you got it.
it’s the torture that it brings
brings all things to death
without your blessing
it’s everything.
let’s unravel the structure.
leave it on ring.
telling everything.
forgiving in the forgiving
too many so it seems.
forgiveness for the last time.
the marching of time
leaving it all behind.
ride or die.
let me know when you want to make the
empty feeling down, lie
for the last time.
three times
the strikes in the game.
was everything.
but now it’s a new spring
and looking back for you
isn’t anything.
to you.
try try again.
is over.
when one grows
let me know
let it show
when one stops trying, let go.
it’ll let me know.
or no
no time to play the skeptic
I don’t have time to pick it apart
no time to see only the ugly.
when it was right from the start
there is no time.
I can’t dream of utopia
it’s not a positive but a suicide.
for one who believes not in heaven
one certainly had a way of staying in hell
and always telling yourself
someone, something will be perfect.
and magic will reign
didn’t you know?
magic is in the rain.
the thunder and the pain
the sun after and the shame
the shine and the dark
in hearts that are slain.
that grows through that pain.
magic is in
the everything.
walking down the road with you
kissing in the car with you
we aren’t gone for anything
the crime was in such love we bring.
but mistake not it was right all along.
clock might have been wrong.
allies wrong
but I didn’t care, no guilt.
but truth and beauty was on it, built.
but ignore it.
don’t your remember it was true?
true as many times I’ve said the same word
in a single poem, you should know
I tried to look away and be through
but who is kidding who?
it’s always been you..
and now I’ll be forever
it grew and grew
and I am in shaken terror.
for you will not follow through.
why not admit you aren’t who
I thought you were
and yet the farther I deny.
the farther I know.
it’s always been you.
watch my tears falling by
for something inside
yet too down to cry
sure, keep telling me I lied.
why didn’t you try?
why didn’t you try?
like I have.
living for you.
living for a lie.
from every side.
except mine.
you would know nothing more real than I.
I can never abide.
what we do to eachother now.
is it pride?
is it youve, from the beginning lied?
but me?
is there another?
tell me true
and I’ll try
as you deserve the world Inside.
over and over and over again.
it’s in this that I was found.
I could’ve never lied
but by a night or day
not like you, my will abides
I never took sides.
it was you and I.
against all odds.
do not let a well of emotion run dry.
you have to be joking?
I tried and tried
and the further I go
the more I need you.
so by my side
why did you lie?
when all I’ve learned?
is how to die.
and I’d still keep you for my own
the only love I’ve never desired for a rebound
another there makes me ill.
the poison thick
in veins alone.
nobody else matters, im alone
that bird has flown.
it’s you and only you
you make my body fail.
my soul frail.
my emotions on high alert and tell
delve in my mind, but why?
how can you be so blind?
are you truly so jaded
or do you always lie?
that I was never what you truly wanted?
then tell me a lie.
or tell me true
I cannot be through.
give in
it’s all aligned
call me to you
summon me
as I’ve said before
give a sign.
because love like this doesn’t
exist..but once.
uncover your eyes
you know what I’m talking of.
you’ve always been enough.
over such a short time.
I never said it wouldn’t be tough
but tell me to wait
and I’ll be one to do such
but never satisfied
until youre by my side
until your laying night after night
by my side.
but what a fool I was
with how you lied.
I can feel you even now
why run?
we both know what we hide.
inside and astride
echoes on the tide.
I tried. oh I tried
your will, I’ve said so much.
I many times.
in these very words
and I never lied.
you lied.
and Id run back to you again.
I wish it was not the truth.
I want the sound of yesterday
what did you want.
an ego boost?
not the truth?
when the truth would’ve given you all you
required.
my mind, I’m tired
what I hear, long sighed.
a winding path that cannot be steered
this upon me feeds and feeds
but you ignore what you need in life.
we never took the true dive.
and you knew it was real.
why did you fail?
being scared is not enough
I call your bluff
tell me something believed
and then I could retreat.
forever.
and try to forget
everything we were, yet.
I cannot not hide.
wish I could run
I wish I had died
I wish you’d see the sun
in all we are.
but all you did was lie and lie.
to get your way
while I suffered inside
after I finally came open to you.
you hung your head and sighed.
I’d never be the one
to hypnotize
and you’d ever be there to criticize.
I was never who you cared to keep inside.
I wish I didn’t love you anymore
I don’t want to think of you anymore
I want to have you near.
or I want to wanna disappear.
I want to cry for you
but know better than to pursue.
it’s life long this love of you.
I don’t wanna love you.
because it’s not reciprocated
but I’ve never hated
could never create
anything but us
but my choice never mattered to fate
and it never did to you.
what I had was forever
what I had ended, never.
I always find out too late.
and all of this because my guard was let down
believed words my heart tricked me to believe.
oh but this was different.
immersed in your scent
no one else no, for it won’t happen again, I drown
now and forever in your shallows
applause are in order.
for putting me in the ground.
I cannot keep it, yet still bound
I don’t want to see you around.
unless I’m accepted
mine would never shake
It so strongly effected
if your love wasnt so very fake
take and take
and then act like I go away
with it
and everything I had on default for you
all of it was for you
every word, every action.
going out?
staying in?
all for the feelings I felt within.
you were never a spare
I never before could share
every thing I ever cared
for
hated, needed.
I stared into you.
I never walked right past you
but right into you.
it was everything for me
only a matter of time.
it was nothing to you.
so don’t ask me why Im through
it was always you
everything you lied about.
and everything I cried about
fell on deaf ears.
you took someone so brave
and gave them fears.
now I’ll know better next time.
because you took every tear.
I don’t want no one else.
not anymore.
I’m on the floor.
think I’ll stay here.
thinking about everything.
everything
you gave up.
wonder why I disappeared?
look for the answers in yourself
because those feelings at least were real.
you knew with scars of your own to heal.
everything
I could’ve helped you
with anything.
because I had everything.
only for you.
I was here forever and all
nothing could hurt me if you only called
my name.
dont you see we are the same?
the verse losing structure
that’s when you get to the truth.
when you stop trying to use
when you let it all loose.
when you get all the clues
one ever needed.
so with it brings
everything
halt.
no.I don’t want another heart
I don’t want another part
In any other dream.
I want mine back
I don’t want another magnet.
I don’t want another locket
I want back what heart you lacked.
but oh I guess it’s too late for that.
and I don’t have mine anymore.
it’s yours and you know it.
I’m glad you own it.
like it’s a jewel to be shown
I saw you more real than that.
I’m not what you ever knew in past.
for me any other will feel like someone elses life.
I don’t want anyone elses strife
I wanted yours to heal.
your breath to steal.
your pain to kill.
your hand to feel.
we may have had some time to deal.
but I meant every word I said.
for no other have I bled
never like this before
but I cant ignore.
I don’t want another bed
I don’t want another near.
I don’t want anothers fear
I don’t wanna hear the words you said.
that ripped right through me.
and will till Im dead.
don’t wanna hear those from anyone else.
I simply wanted your everything.
if you can’t be whats meant.
then this energy spent
was a waste
apologize that Ill never see it that way.
we got only just a taste
of what could’ve been..
over a short time.
oh what could’ve been
I gave in
then you walked away.
from everything.
I was raised to feel my feelings never mattered.
yet the first to show me the opposite way
was the first to rip them away.
night and day.
what was the point?
when you said what you felt first?
I anoint thee
with what no one else could do
good for you.
for tearing apart something finally true.
you’ll find out too late it’s yourself, you abuse
unpredictable as the rain
I was steady
breaking rules
even against the grain.
looking forward.
cut the cord.
it will not lord
over me
not anymore.
unable to cut this transparent cord.
come back to me.
forget everything?.if not
it’s your loss that it brings
not because I was anything special
but because, what we were together.
was truly something
pretend you didn’t care.
so I have to be through
and I give all my luck to you.
everything.
and Ill take a heart anew.
maybe one day, but I wont stay true
how would it be fair to the one I drew.
to anyone, not anyone, but you.
and for what it’s worth
since you didn’t know.
I was always looking straight at you.
this life has only you
a promise I keep to death
I speak with every breath
your name, heavy on my chest.
didn’t you know?
everything laid out
yet, you played the fool.
I never walked by.
I was walking right to you.
I was always looking straight at you.
til you became transparent
north was true
and I saw straight through you.
but I always had it
I loved you in spite.
everything is everything
and I meant it
even when it rained.
go find a utopian daydream.
put what is found in an airtight case
because it will be one for the books
a place in history
because such never before existed.
I shook while I resisted
leaving you listless.
a nihilist, who isn’t a realist.
is a dreamer.
nothing wrong with such
it’s worth so much
by the way.
and I can dream such dreams
all true.
together couldve had the day.
done everything.
held tight against the waves.
fought off the wolves
protect, made it through.
life was ours if you would’ve taken it
but one feared truth
I guess even a dream can fall through
you gotta pick it back up and rehash it anew.
do not scheme
it’s obvious.
redeem.
everything.
everything.
but no stay blue
instead of letting this break on through.
give up everything.
that would’ve made the world
all because fear
caught In the hours?
the ones that somehow became seconds.
how did you not see?
you had me tamed..
tamed internal
but relapse
it happens by chance.
pretend you don’t claim.
me by your side.
there was no one to blame
for being happy.
love makes a way.
everything.
everything to gain.
but you set it free
a butterfly in the rain.
maybe when you know better.
than to throw away everything.
write it in a letter.
ones I’ve written time after time
only to throw away.
so I guess I’ll just rhyme.
we were always better this way to explain
one day return ready to understand the pain.
the love
everything we had to gain.
return that short time while never tough
sometimes rough.
but times when we couldn’t get enough.
laugh and love
what do you remember?
what on earth are you thinking of?
selective memory when you could never get enough.
never enough of.
hand and glove.
wings clipped on the wings of a dove.
absolutely criminal to give it all away
to file down everything.
nothing I could’ve said to make you stay.
yet I never strayed.
not once.
and never will.
keep lying that you don’t remember the thrill.
ive had my fill.
you hold out your hand
I’ll stand silent.
faded, standing still.
and forever isn’t too far until.
.....everything is undone.
death even seems a kinder fate.
wait for the folding of the sun.
nothing I can do.
I’ll still remain
In love with you.
that’s all there is
and the pain will be the end of me.
tell me.
could I have ever counted on you?
to see me through.
like I had you.
everything I’ve ever wanted.
and you don’t believe.
and this I will be haunted
forever.
forever.
when I say this?
I mean it forever..
keep pretending.
it isn’t what we bring.
that makes our souls sing
without our permission.
it’s about persision
I’m lost.
but you’ll never know.
so I set you free.
you act as though you agree.
so it isn’t in me
to keep trying you
and loving you.
when you can do.
and be happy
with another new.
I only wish for us
everything.
that shed, do you?
the way you did me.
that’s the happiness In you
it grew til through
like you did me.
but we could have it back.
you just won’t agree.
but I cannot run.
so it’s you who must flee.
but I know in my soul
youre a part of me
I know you have tried to set me free.
but I would not listen.
I knew what I got.
we were right.
whether you we wish it so or not.
I love you.
there is nothing else I can do.
—C.R.S
