See You Next Winter, Never
Mostly about pain of love lost...I've grown fond of this "conversation with your own self stuff"... It's almost like rap. I know I'm better at classical...but it's my own history I like written like this. As when I look back I'll remember better. Fixing to edit and shape it up. But the feeling the same.
A natural disaster of the heart
I can’t deal being apart
So rip us apart
Better suffer in silence
Then to keep hanging on.
Finding out it’s the first.
Youre my church.
My beliefs.
My glass half empty
Full.
My atheist.
My disbelief
My faith in all I believe.
I was always the one to interact possession
And now it seems Im beat at my own game
As its my obsession
And my patience
My forever.
My incantation
oh I know to smother you
But your thoughts of me choke
But continue to run. Too act broke. We were not.
Til I can’t think of anyone else.
Why didn’t you stop before I knew.
Why did I not stop when I could
If I could cast a spell I would
To hold you still
But that’s not real love
When it’s real
To make light of free will.
If that was ever real.
Its your freedom I will love
Your love on hold.
I scolded
Because I was afraid
To lose us.
To play with me?
Pained me
So I tried to cut you.
before you did me.
Jokes on me
I lost out anyway
God what have I stumbled onto
How did you do this to me.
I must admit I’m Intrigued
Seems Im finally out of my league
I never turned cruel.
Until you made me feel insecure
Like I could lose you
I know now
I can’t.
Im not begging type
Yet you have me on my knees
You have me drowned in pleas
Youre all there is
All there ever will be
I just stare at others
Trying to move on
Can’t do it.
wont do it
Until you say your line
Your all there is.
There is no more, that it’s time.
This ain’t all there is.
this was forever.
I can’t lose you.
Tell me you didn’t let a speed bump
Ruin us?
Because this was everything.
we could be together
There is no end.
Not to us.
Just tell me you don’t believe me.
What are you waiting for?
Said I was leaving
and it’s all for you.
Don’t even know you hurt me
I’d lay everything down for the chance of you.
for the thought of you.
You mean it all to me.
How did you do this?
I’m still amazed at what happened to me
I was once never romantic.
Passion held hands with logic.
Intensity with complicity
A knowing if understanding.
But I feel quite crazy.
The romantic feelings I’ve never felt
All now when time has dealt
The unfair hand.
This is where I stand.
But my fate was always to love
And be not loved in return.
Maybe its no more than I deserve.
I had too much nerve.
And you were the last one I thought would fear it
The last I thought would run
Ride or die
Never a lie.
A place you could try
To be yourself
To be one
And never worry of any hell
For it was heaven for me
And watch us through another’s eyes.
They’d never lie
Theyd say we looked wild about the other.
But keep up the lie
That infatuation looks a lot like love
Oh I thought so too
Until I took a second look
Until I missed you near
You were never kind
And I let you drive me from my mind
Took my peace
A lease on my entire being
You must be proud.
But it’ll ruin you in the end
As it has me
There is no life here unless it is we
You know it’s true
What should’ve gotten weaker
Got stronger
But a scar soon it will be.
And I won’t reopen a wound like this.
Use silence to manipulate.
Until you.
You manipulate resentment.
And you don’t even know.
No I had commitment.
And it’s flown.
Tell me
when you know what I know
I’ll let go
Be there for you in an instant
I’ll recant.
Do you even know what you do?
But I do.
Just like my father
Drink his pure life away
I’ll drink my poor life away
Down the drain
Knowing you gave away the best that we could be
For fear of nothing.
He split his heart in two
One belonged to his humanity
Granted I understand this so much
But the other belonged to a true love
Longing broke to pieces
Love indeed breaks the curse
So it seems
But can I help who I love
So I won’t give the curse up.
You were my curse naturally.
Do not love one who feel s like your habit.
When they leave you behind.
The high of love breaks free
To addiction of the wrong breed.
I gave you the summertime
And you let it snow
You fool.
The high of love breaks free.
Into chains of addiction
You were mine
Until you said goodbye.
No use telling someone to not love anyone unkind
You can love their every edge and pain
Every beauty and even the insane.
But they will only love you for gain.
Only give you the blame.
When all I saw was pure light.
Pulsating between us two.
They don’t know youre true
How can you tell them it’s you
Who will absolutely love them til life is through.
Short time. long grew
Vines over my heart
I told you I had no answers
But I was true
I can’t be apart.
It’s to much for me.
But you could not see
What I gave away.
My heart is soft
Beneath a steel exterior
You broke it to pieces
Made me vulnerable
When no one else has.
And I could curse you
But you broke my curse.
I’ll love another.
But you were first.
You became a ghost
For no reason at all
Your fear is a fool.
Once we played it cool.
I could have shown you the emotional world
The only girl.
A love that had no end.
And I opened up.
I gave it all.
Why?
Over no time at all.
I still don’t know
But it’s you.
It’s always you.
I wake up.
I sleep
I die
I walk
I crawl
It’s always you
Can you tell me why?
Or is it because you feel the same?
Play your games.
But your silence created resentment.
So leave me alone.
You should’ve spoken up.
Pretend you don’t feel the same
Maybe if you said you would rather die
Than look at me again.
Then.
I could’ve understood
Instead you spoke through the sonar of a cave
I heard you loved me
You cannot hide it
Even though you do from yourself.
But if you cannot say it
I’m through.
I love you too
But you make me do all the things
You told me I’d be safe for doin
You lied
You told my heart it would be safe with you.
You lied
So I’ve cried
Over you.
Do you even know?
How rare.
How that has never happened?
And you know why?
Because your the one
And you cannot reach out and take it.
Youre my home
And I’ve never lived beside you.
Tell me how this could be true?
Set me free
Lock me in a cage.
No age.
Will take it away.
But it’s over I’m done.
You couldn’t let me know.
I hate to see you go
My dearest friend.
It’s the end.
Youre selfish
And I cannot abide
Such play.
Your pride was not okay.
I apologized for my sins.
But where has yours been?.
So you ever decide to give a chance to fate
Fate gave us a great chance.
But you wanna give the answer to late.
You can’t see the light
I’ll hold you and protect every pain
But again
You just walked away.
So like 12pm
The dust flying
Walk ten yards
Shoot me
Don’t clip me
I don’t wanna live wounded from you.
I’m through.
See what you do?
Proud you are
I know you love flattery.
But you know better than that from me
Look closer my dear
I’ll show you home.
I’ll show you how we have grown.
Something In the wind blown
It was a gift.
A seed that was sown.
But you looked the other way.
I cried here.
In the sunlight.
9 windows
Smell of coffee.
Why can’t we?
Walk away now love.
I cant only be just a friend.
If that’s how it is?
It’s just the end.
No one will mourn it more than I.
It’s all I can say.
See you soon?
when you can see more than a play.
Until then?
I’m gone.
Hope I find another I can understand
The way I knew you
Hope I find another I with grew.
Over the shortest time?
Can you imagine a life?
You don’t remember?
Half a yr is a short time
Or a life time
It wasn’t long but don’t be a fool.
See you next December.
Or I will never again.
I wish my soul would never remember.
Until you understood.
Goodbye.
I’d rather die
Then mourn you one more day
But I’ll give it my best try.
Our weathered eyes
And sleeping skies.
Our dying lies.
Our creasing skin
Dies.
But love does not.
It cannot be bought.
Take all I have.
But you give it up.
Put me in the grave.
You save
Just to kill.
I’ve had my feel.
You do so with skill
And you don’t even know
Or maybe you do.
You should’ve stuck to me like glue.
Only is be true
The way you need.
To late I hear.
Through.
You need things to live
I just needed you.
Did you know I’d run away forever
For you?
But you didn’t see that did you?
I already told you I gave myself physically.
Oh any time.
But I want your soul in return.
It comes to the same thing.
Did you not see that?
It’s the same thing.
When talking about you and I.
You once asked if I only found this all exciting?
Don’t play you.
Yea and look what you do?
No I’m not excited
I almost hate you.
But love you too much.
It’s almost the same thing.
Or you never knew what love was to begin with did you?
No one told you did they?
So why did you tell me you felt that way?
Remember the song?
In December?
Look through me why don’t you?
Get a clue.
I was never untrue
Could never be again.
It’s a sin.
Never seeing us again.
My love don’t die.
My love don’t lie.
Leave us in the mundane
When we were anything but
We were on whispers
A wavelength.
Still are.
But let it go.
See you to far
To remember.
See you next winter, never.
Did you even know me then?
Or was I just a shadow of someone you used to know.
Judged unfairly
Thrown in jail
Over and over again that lonely wind will blow
Don’t ever.
See you next winter, never.
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