Might I say welcome to reality,
You are 18 years old with the unconscionable ability to make your actions and words sound as if they have come from a tormented and confused child meaning you make it seem as if everything scares you,
It is time to grow up,
Believe it or not you are not the overall entirety of my thoughts and problems and the very thought that you are shows the complete disregard for the outside world basically anything beyond the very reach of your fingertips,  
The complete image of what you are thinking could be encased in the split second glimpse of your image in a mirror only focused on your face,
It is one in the same because no matter the different angles or light the overall person starring back only has one thing focusing back upon them and it is that one thing and the constant starring at ones self is the perfect metaphor for the infant style conversations that have occurred not between you and another but between you and the self—loving and loathing personality you have the unfortunate trouble of calling your self—conscious,
Welcome to the ultimate reality check,
Because in the matter of you yourself and the image that you have in your mind of what you deserve, you will only get what you give in return,
This is life
There are no hand outs or help up
Everything that you blame on me is the result of the over thinking and under appreciation of what you were given by and individual which is a complete and soul full sacrifice, you use the word love and throw it around as if it was a stick being used by the most simply minded fool inside the most basic and plain of worlds in essence meaning you don’t understand the complete use of it,
Guilt is not a reason for ignorant and blatant exclusion,
The waiting that I keep experiencing I thought was going to be the turn around of an attitude that I thought was going to lose fuel,
But in closing it is the absolute fact of an immature adult expressing themselves as if they were a misguided and deranged preteen that has caused this loving man to once again be proven to be the fool,
Grow up,
No matter what is presented to you on a silver platter it is the constant unhappiness with its imperfection that causes yourself perception to crack, I am not your imperfections I am the mortar that will fuse the faults in the brick wall that is yourself in a multidimensional world,  
This will not change,
You have to guide yourself from the depression that turns the lights off inside the prison that is your social world, it is time for your to unlock the cells and open the gates so you can be happy and contrary to your first beliefs I will not always be around to be the prison break,
I give up on the immature facts and reasoning behind this constant self fucking that you call self—worry,
Maybe in the future you will find a toddler just like you so misguided in the world that he will park his own prison beside you to form a mass encasing of self—despair and self—hatred,
I am not the devil for pointing this out, but rather I am the mirror itself point out the ridiculous ideas that go on the that fucked up compartment attached to your torso by your neck,
Welcome to hell,
Because at the end of the day you are stuck, not I, your stuck with the person who has all of the problems above,
I can drive away cigarette in hand and just like that pointless life ending smoke disappearing into the wind coming from the window, there is a pointless bitch disappearing in the rearview mirror and I won’t look back.