Have a jolly and customary British Yuletide!
By Stanley Collymore
From bitter arguments and sullen disagreements, to
very serious impairment of what were already
fractured relations with people with whom
they’re supposedly blood-related to but
in actuality can’t really stand or even casually abide
each other’s company, and in normal situations
wouldn’t been seen dead with them. But now
feel obligated to do so because it’s usually
expected of them to play this insincere
game that all of them are glumly and
gingerly indulging in because it is
Christmastide and, furthermore,
the recognized, British thing!
“You great lummox!” shouted an incensed wife
to her severely inebriated husband ostensibly
helping her prepare the Christmas dinner
in their kitchen. “What the bloody hell
is it that you think you’re doing?” she furiously
questioned. Hurriedly and sternly adding on
more perceptive reflection. “I particularly
requested you were to pluck the turkey,
Bertie. And not participate in what it
is that you’re distinctly now doing!”
Ending her respective tirade thus: “Well stuff
the turkey if you must! For I can honestly
tell you that whatever slender chance
you probably imagined you might
also have had between the two
of us in that apparent regard
is absolutely with me, null
and void this Christmas!”
© Stanley V. Collymore
20 December 2019.
Author’s Comments:
The height of cynicism on my part as regards British Christmases? Not really! For I’ve seen enough of them to know and state precisely what I mean! But I don’t think any of that will or should ever cause me to spoil your “celebrations”. And why should it? For that’s certainly not my intention. And I’m simply being the pragmatic person I’ve always been.
