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Awkward Irony

the awkward girl complains about getting attention,
she doesn’t quite understand what others are attracted to...
they tell her she’s real and it’s refreshing,
and most intriguing, which is why they enjoy her company.
she loves people and making connections,
but feels overwhelmed by the amount of people wanting to connect with her.
this is a new playing field; forcing her outta her head and into a collective reality.
she can no longer shyly stand in the background,
mulling over thoughts and perceptions,
guessing at what is going on in others’ minds as she observes their actions.
for a girl so in love with connections,
and born with the ability to see the binding forces between so many things,
she sure needs help learning how to view others as reflections of herself.
this girl, she grew up making friends with trees
and admiring humans from afar.
the people surrounding her had so many barriers blocking their ability to love,
it was hard to connect with their true essence when interacting with them.
So she kept her distance, and created a fantasy world in her mind.
A world where the self-destructive people around her saw themselves as she saw them: beautiful and powerful.
A world where everyone was in tune with the presence of life.
A world where people were like trees:
firmly grounded, strong, magnificent,
ever-reaching for new possibilities,
devoted to contributing to the enrichment of life.
Her bond with nature gives her hope,
it’s the only thing that ever has.
The natural world makes sense to her,
humans... not so much.
so she strives to understand this species.
and as she comes to realizations,
she shares them with the world through poetry.
she perceives others viewing her as a marvel of the human race;
a girl who has survived so much pain
and strives to turn it into beauty.
only then does she realize how undeniably connected she is with
homo sapiens sapiens.
for she squirms at the attention and admiration given her,
finding it hard to accept her beauty and power.
oh, the irony...
a girl bent on helping the world realize it’s magnificence,
feels more at home crying herself to sleep
then she does surrounded by people who love her.
but a mind once expanded can never go back.
she dreams of the days she could escape to her fantasy world,
thriving off of the belief that compassion and love are true human nature;
but her heightened awareness places her among her kind,
where true human nature cannot be defined so easily.
and as she immerses herself further into the collective human consciousness
she is coming to realize:
that there is no convincing anyone of anything,
for her experience teaches her that what we try to give to the world
is what we are needing within ourselves.
So the awkward girl lets go
and allows others to express themselves freely.
We are all living by our own set of truths.
and this girl, she’ll still entertain the thought of hope
because when the world becomes unfamiliar,
she can close her eyes and be with the trees.
And when the world tells her she is love,
she can laugh at how awkward love can be.

(2014)

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