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Forever me, 17

POEMS
FAVORITES
2
FOLLOWING
31
FOLLOWERS
25

How many nights will it take
Of her crying herself to sleep
Before this pain she feels is over?

How many prayers will it take of her
Begging to god to take her life
Before she can’t bare it any longer
And decides to end it herself?

How many times will it take
Before someone realizes that
She’s really not okay
Even though she says she is?

How many times will it take
Before she finally gets her ending?

How many....

I am not a fool for loving you.
I am not a fool for trusting you.
I am not a fool for giving you
everything that I had.
A fool is not what I am
and a fool is who I shall not be.

It is what you’ve become
in this situation.

You are the fool for not loving me
the way I deserved to be loved.
You are the fool for not being
the man that you needed to be.
You are the fool for letting me go
because baby when you realize
that some other guy can treat me
better than you ever could
you’ll be begging for me back,
but baby please know that I won’t
because you already had your chance,
yet you were the fool who gave that up.

A fool is who I shall not be,
but a fool is who you’ve become.

You were wrong to underestimate me.
You were wrong to not have any faith
in myself and my success.
You were wrong to say the things you’ve said.
You were wrong to bring me down.

Although, while you were wrong
for everything you’ve did.
I cannot fully blame you
for my sadness you’ve caused.
For, I was also in the wrong.

I was wrong to blieve
every word that you spoke.
I was wrong to let you
make me doubt my ownself.
I was wrong to think that I’ll fail
and have no amount of success at all.

But, now I know.
I now know that i am stronger
than you, your words, and belief.
I now know that it’s not what you think nor say;
that it is what I think about myself and how I feel.

Dear J.,

The first time that we meet
was at a eighth grade track meet
and since then we’ve became friends
though now I think that’s changed; for me at least.

It was at that night
and that other night too
that I realized I was wrong
because to me your more than
just a friend because day by day
I’m slowly starting to fall for you
and day by day before I’d realized
my feelings for you, I had adored
all the little things you did and do.

All those silly faces we do,
all those times you picked on me,
all those times we’d hit another
for no apparent reason at all,
all those little things are few
of the things that I adore.
And now that I realize that I was wrong
I want you to know that I truly do like you
and all I want is for you to be happy.

Sincerely,
                  Crystal R.

To all the girls out there
who are beginning to
or wanting to change
know that there is no need
because beautiful
is what you already are.
So, forget that image
that society had planted
inside that pretty mind of yours
and start creating your own image
of what beauty is to you!

So, beautiful girl, beautiful you
don’t hide no more. Stand out; Stand tall
and see the beauty that he, himself, sees in you.

Because what has been defined as beauty
doesn’t define the beauty that you already are
because you are your own definition of beauty
and that is all that will ever matter.

So, BEAUTIFUL girl, beautiful YOU
do me a favor and love yourself
because beautiful IS what you are!

2

She  was born from a parent
who left her at a young age
to be raised by a monster.

This monster created
such fear and depression
for this poor young girl.

The monster she feared
was there everyday waiting
for when she got home
or for when she woke.
The monster she didn’t love
broken her down far too much
that even a thought of it
or the thought of being home
would make her panic.

And as of this day
she continues to live
in fear and sorrow
and she continues to fight this
never-ending battle within her
on whether to live or die
because of this monster.

So, Imagine if you had
a monster you couldn’t escape
because as you sit here so happily
this poor young girl is left alone
with the monster she continues to fear.

My darkness is never ending.
My darkness is your greatest fear.
My darkness is something you cant escape.

Although, you can try
to shut out my darkness
with your precious little eyes,
but you silly, poor thing
you’ve forgotten that I exist there too.

So, please understand
that there is no way out.
That there is no ounce of light
to my darkness you try to run from.

So, stop your running
and come towards my way
and have a little fun with me
because my darkness is something
you cannot escape.

What we are is real
and real is who were suppose to be
and If we were meant to be fake
our skin would be plastic like Barbie,
but we are all humans.
Humans who make mistakes,
who has scars: seen or hidden,
and who has things that they wish
to change about themselves.
           ~~~~~~~~
But, our Uniquely selves
are imperfections of beauty
because beauty isn’t fake; beauty is real.
            ~~~~~~~~
So, remember
beauty isn’t Barbie
with plastic for skin
and everything else.
Beauty is our humanly skin
with our uniquely imperfections
that we wish to change.

“I love you.”
is just three small words,
but when it is spoken
it holds a power
so beautiful.

So, When revealing
those three little, yet powerful words
to a heart so fragile
make sure that you mean it,
and show her the difference between
“ I LOVE YOU.” and “I love you.”
because anyone can say “ I love you.”

So, remember that love is a feeling
that is shared between two,
not a game that you play, so carelessly.
So, if your not willing to stay,
nor willing to prove to her that you do
then don’t bother to tell her
those three little words you easily speak.

Through these halls
 I walk alone.
 In the classrooms
 where I sit with many others
 I am still, yet alone.
 In the Cafeteria
 the same thing there goes as well
 I am there, yet I am not seen.

Alone is where I am
no matter where I go.
I am here, I am there,
I am everywhere.
And standing there
I try to get
your undivided attention
because I am tired
of being in solitary,
yet I continue to be
invisible to your seeing eye.

Alone is the word
it is who I’ve become
as you continue to walk by.

ALONE

Is now my name.

1

Day one
you came to my work.
You asked me if I wanted to date you.
Of-course my answer was yes.
You smiled and then asked me
if I’d like to go to the movies.
So, after we work went
and it was our very first date.

Two days, six days,
then eighteen days went by.
Within those eighteen days
we’ve texted, hanged out,
and with everyday I’ve fallen
for you more and more.

A few more days went by.
It is now July 26th
and as of this day
it had been three amazing weeks with you;
the one that keeps me smiling from ear to ear.

First we were strangers.
Second we were friends.
Now thirdly we are something more.
And I can’t wait to see
where this will take us.

What I thought was true is now a lie.
What I thought was real is now a fake.
What I felt for you is still the same
as I feel for you now.
Everything that I’ve said
and felt for you was true.
Never once was any of it a fake.
But, for you this was nothing but, a silly old game.

            ~~~~~~~~

You had played me so well;
you’d must of done it before.
You had left my mind and heart
 to think one thing when none of it was real.
You had built up my hopes and dreams
then you came and crushed it all.
You had told me that you’d loved me
and that you would keep me safe,
but now I known that wasn’t the case.
You had made me look like a fool.

              ~~~~~~~~

Though I should of known. I should of seen this coming.
I should of known that I’m not one that someone loves.
I should of known that this could never be.
I should of known but I was blinded by “Your Love.”

                 ~~~~~~~~

Oh, how could I’ve been so foolish?
How could I’ve let myself love
for something that wasn’t true nor real?