A Santa Intrusion
It was the first hour of morning,
On Christmas day,
When I heard bells jingle
Like those on a sleigh.
Then out on the balcony
I heard thrashing around
So I tip-toed through the condo.
You’ll never guess what I found!
There was a fat man
In a red jogging suite
Loading presents in sacks,
Making off with the loot.
So I asked him, “What Gives?”
He responded and said,
“I’m Santa you twit,
Now go back to bed!
”Well, I started to comply
And then I thought,
“Santa leaves presents
But to take them, (NOT!).
This isn’t Santa,
Santa’s happy or jolly,
This guy’s all grumpy.
I won’t be fooled by his folly!
Then I laid out a plan
All made up in my head,
I told him a story,
And this, I said,
”There’s Brownies in the kitchen
On a solid silver tray
And there’s Eggnog in the frig,
Just bought that today.
The Brownies are fresh,
I made them from scratch,
We ate about half
But there’s some left from the batch.”
Then off I did scurry
Off— to the kitchen,
To set-up the tray,
It really looked bitch-in.
I placed Brownies on the tray
With cherries and fruit,
A tempting arrangement
For the guy with the loot.
And when he entered the kitchen,
I kept watching from the hall,
He ate all the brownies;
Fruit, cherries, and all.
Yes, my trap was successful,
Though the timing was tight,
And it didn’t take long,
He was high as a kite!
So, I called the cops
And they took “HAPPY” away
In a cop car, lights flash-in.
Not in a sleigh.
Yes, he was so mild and so mellow,
With Pot-laced good cheer,
Saying, “Merry Christmas to all
And How’s about a beer!”
JE Falcon
11-18-2016
