Girl (I used to be)
Sometimes I wish I knew I belonged here.
There are days I wish I could forget the pain.
When I look in the mirror I wish i could just see me.
Not be haunted by the girl I used to be.
Not be scared by the woman I am.
I wish i had the strength to face the pain
and not run away.
There’s a part of me that won’t let go.
This part of me so in love with my misery.
Can only feel alive when I’m dying.
Drowning in the pain.
Sinking back to this darkness.
Feel so alive.
Will The woman I am fade away?
Will I regress to the girl I used to be?
Makes me feel alive.
Numbs me.
Make me forget how torn I really am.
Will the woman I am disappear because I am too afraid to let go of the girl I used to be?
I can’t keep up with the battle inside.
Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me.
It’s like I am split down the middle.
Drowning, I try to swim up to the surface.
The girl I used to be pulls me down.
She wants me to stay here
forever cold, and bitter.
No I push away.
I reach for air.
There are the remnants of the girl I used to be.
Never looking back
I have finally let it go.
(2013)
