Today for a moment I was a wealthy rancher, I have a stable of beautiful horses, palomino, appaloosa, strawberry rone, a shire for the hell of it and a beautiful home. I have family all around my big table laughing, eating and telling stories. I see them all the time. I have children with heads full of good memories running about, slamming the refrigerator door.

Today for a moment I was a business woman getting ready to board a plane, going somewhere new again. I’ll arrive and have a fine lunch sitting somewhere near the sea, dressed to impress and then happen across an old flame that knows I’ve only got tonight to spend with him.

Today for a moment I was the doctor that had to break the news, a life was going to end early, comfort a woman sitting in my office with a child wriggling on her knee. I’ll go home to my big house after an extra long ride home on leather lined seats, up a road cut through red rock hills sprinkled with palm trees and up cast lights hidden from view. My dogs will be waiting for me and a dozen roses sent from an admirer I know someday i’ll marry if hes lucky.

Today for a moment I was shopping for the weeks groceries pondering a major surgery. I’ll give a piece of me away to someone I’ve known for a while, sometimes I’m so in love with him other times hes like a mosquito on a warm sticky day.  But I like him for some reason. I wonder if things will ever be normal again. I wonder how big the scars will be. What if I die on the table and leave the love of my life alone, my little girl that can do no wrong, is it worth the risk? Who would I trust her with?  Broccoli is on sale.


(2013)

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