Insomniac psychology
you’re chest is windmill
notice how your heart never stands still
just filters that airy absence
of yourself you’ve been hiding?
i stayed up last monday night
taking all these personality tests
online
and
i know its silly because i know atleast these parts myself
i suppose i just wanted something else
to reassure me yes i lean too much on feeling,
score high in openness,
emotional and idealistic
and that i should be a counselor or a writer.
i don;t know why reading what i knew made me feel lighter.
it doesn’t make too much sense.
but what does? i needed rest .
My thoughts like to pull all nighters and my
brain matter enjoys playing type writer.
you ever think your thoughts on choices are sticky
like two ends refusing to let go even though it isn’t
all that tricky?
I have been people watching more than usual
to the point my habit to over analyze is no
seccret anymore and has been recognized.
if its gift or burden i still try to decide ..
but im coming to conclusions
that a conclusion can be twined when
our speculations aren’t always lines but rather
webs we spin.
It’s okay to laugh by the way
on my bullet notes I’m
listing on how i’ve been thinking these days
it is humorous in some ways.
i have even noticed people noticing
and seen people seeing
i guess its interesting just now seeing
how complex everyone is
theres these various, vicarious
stair cases
of imagination in us
different on everyone of our pages.
My sister has always been as free spirited
as a fire proclaiming its independence and as
I’ve watched her grow i saw her change from wild fire
to strong young woman.
My grandmother has grace to the point
of brave
being it’s synonym.
I learned how some of my friends have this music in them
that pulsess through them like blood in its own rythmetic veins
and says
listen.
If you watch like this ever you see it.
as people, in all we do
at the core of our beings
begin to radiate believing
begin to glow hope
and beam passion.
our thoughts are like film strips over our lives
we can make them sepia and ashen
or brilliant and pastel.
I promise what stands up in you at night
doesn’t suddenly stand still.
Maybe overwhelmed is a blessing maybe you should unwind
and when you do
do so as powerful and extreme
as you please.
when you do
unwind
unwind like yarn
and unravel your free.
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