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To forgive us wholly

May my tears erase all the lies.
May their release dissolve all the whys.
May my heart now shine through all that I do.
May all that I do demonstrate
that I’ve chosen to forgive you.
 
For all those awful names you’ve called me,
and all the destructive criticism with which you’ve described me,
and with all the darkness that your eyes have pierced through my boundary,
and all the terror with which you’ve bursted through my integrity….
No longer do I fear you
because right now, I see you.
 
The fearful child that is screaming inside;
you’re as vulnerable as I
have known myself to be.
Your threats have no power without the love that dissolves their darkness.
You wish to be heard, you wish to be seen, you wish to be known….
 
May my choices reflect my best intentions.
May the truth dissolve all that pride
and arrogance with which I’ve seen others live by
as much as I in the past had chosen to be swayed by it.
I wish to love you….
 
You are not your pride, you are not that broken child.
You are not an insecurity that wishes to hide.
I know you, however much you wish to deny.
 
May I cry a few more tears.
May their acceptance release me from all those years
that I’ve had to learn how to excel in human conflict,
felt forced to fight when flight no longer served me,
felt forced to chase to regain my integrity.
Felt forced, felt forced, to act against what felt right to me.
 
When I fall asleep I wish to heal
and my hands to calm you whilst I lie next to you.
To allow you to feel my truth
and let that ignite yours.
I fear you no longer.
After all, I’m just like you.
 
May we wake up in peace having detached
from the memory of what has been.
May our past conflicts no longer bear any weight upon our thoughts.
May we stop needing to act in attempt to keep our integrity.
May we’ve learnt to forgive us wholly.

Written on August 16th 2015

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