I'm NOT Fine
We can never really tell one how we feel, and in the end that kills the saddened.
The happiness that I once felt
has gone like the leaves on the trees
now misery lurks in my heart
and weakens my smile.
No longer do I feel joy in the laughs I utter
no longer do I smile like nothing ever went wrong.
All I wish to do now is lie down and stare
waiting for the day of my disappearance to come.
Thoughts of darkness seep into my mind and there they shall stay
no one will understand for they will never know.
Every night I slump around
no joy or life in me
in the shower I cry
no one can hear me.
I’ll keep faking
keep smiling
so others won’t be down
but underneath its getting hard to not frown.
The Christmas spirit will not come
I’ve shut it out this year
I’m of no help none at all
to make Christmas right.
The stress has again consumed me
ruining my mind
the fears whisper to me
of all that will go wrong.
So when you next see me
hope it’s not in a coffin
for life is cruel
it will take the only rays of sunlight left
the only things that keep me breathing.
(2013)
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