Sports News from Mudville
(Thanks to “Casey at the Bat”)
The outlook’s great for all you folks who seek sports news today:
Linebacker Doakes was just picked up –he slugged his fiancée.
Then football’s finest running back was caught accepting bribes,
And hoopster Cook was benched for drugs physicians don’t prescribe.
Young shortstop Smith refused to play unless he got more dough,
While tight end Jones walked off the field because he stubbed his toe.
Then Mighty Mac, the hitting champion, tried to rob a bank,
And boxer Brown was barred from bouts for going in the tank.
Next catcher Clancy went to court for carrying a gun,
And centerfielder Gootch was caught soliciting a nun.
Sam Jones, the coach, made ethnic slurs that people found unkind,
And Casey, spitting on an ump, was benched and also fined . . . .
So that’s the news today, my friends, but furthermore I claim
There is no doubt that someone somewhere played some sort of game.