Knocked Down but Not Out
Dear God,
Here I sit
Wondering why
While at the same time asking, why not
See, there must be something in me
That I can’t see
That will help answer the fucking question
Do you want me to start at infancy?
I’m sure that time that I almost died was for some reason
What about the time my family snapped
And so much trauma left it’s mark on my loved ones and me
Or the time that my head split
Like Moses parted the Red Sea
Or how soon after I ended up in the ER
With a brain that ceased
To get the blood that it needs
What about the strife that that time caused my family and friends
I don’t know if you’ve stopped listening because I dropped an F bomb
But there’s more
More physical, emotional and spiritual pain
The years that came after were my hardest
Physically
Emotionally
Spiritually
I felt
Abandoned
Alone
Afraid
I was scared
Not of who I’d be
but what I’d be
My cognitive functioning wasn’t clear
Who was I
What was I
For years I worked harder than I ever had
To get back to what I once had
Physically
Emotionally
Spiritually
This isn’t some pity party
Believe me when I say your pity hurts
Anyone that’s on the receiving end knows
Although you may not know it
But your pity is like a king showing mercy
An Overlord pardoning a peasant
I can’t speak for all but I can speak for some
Why have I been forced to endure
So much
But at the same time why not
Life’s events made me into who I’m meant to be
