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inner soul still strugglin'....

Does anyone see?

inner soul still strugglin’....
 
clothes torn
child’s scorn
 
forced embrace
slapping my face
 
alcohol smell in my nose
mouth held closed
 
hands  tied, i thinking why
legs spread
creakin’ bed
 
vaginity took
as his freinds look
 
fears and tears
for many years
 
pregnant at a young age
mom in rage
 
thinking it with a young boy at not her man
as she beat me saying “she didn’t understand”
 
“i raised you better then that my child”
“have you been having sex for a while?...”
 
mom with blind eyes and death ears, what could i say or do
after the termination of the pregnancey, he was still not through
 
at eighteen i was compelled
...to tell
i should have never done so
denial first and then  a harsh blow
 
kick out of the house forced to marry
burdens i carry
 
not safe at home or school or church
at eighteen years age this was a bit much
 
no one to talk to so i begin to rebel
though i never went to jail
 
my mother took my son away
and she reminded of early motherhood each day (continue on next page)
at twenty i settled down, started working a grocery store
only see the monster that molested me more and more
 
he stalked me until i quit that job
...filled with fears and thoughts of my childhood being robbed
 
attempting to move on and be all that i could be
my mom had no confidence in me
 
low self esteem
the world against me it seemed
 
this memory will never end
because my inner soul is still strugglin’...
 
.

(1999)

[MOTION'LES and LOST are two words that are found in MOLESTATION], this i was..

#AAlone #ChildChildChild #DamagingGenesGenesGoingIIMolestation #Molesting #Struggle #TheTheThroughViolation #WearWear

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