I just don’t wanna feel my emotions. I just wanna silence my pain and my thoughts for one day. I don’t wanna know them. I don’t wanna touch them. I don’t even wanna see them. The tears that I’ve cried that I wouldn’t allow myself to show, need to disappear because I’m starting to taste the tears that made me into the man that I am and the state of that I’m in. Does my heart suppose to feel like this? Do I suppose to feel like I’m suffocating on the air god has provided for me. I wanna give up so bad. I wanna runaway so bad from the decisions and the inevitable truth that makes my heart feel like it’s being stabbed repeatedly every fucking day. I wanna breathe in happiness one day. I want it to take over my body like I wish love would take over every time I look at my reflection in the mirror. I wanna run.  I wanna go so far away until I forget everything I know. I wanna wake up in the morning and not wanna close my eyes to the reality I must face that I’m alone with every thought and pain that drowns my heart with the tears that I taste on my tongue to not reflect itself every time I look in the mirror .